I am having a problem that I hope you can shed some light on. I am living with the father of my one-year-old child. My problem is that he keeps getting calls from a particular girl. She calls in the morning when he is on his way to work and in the evening when he gets home. This has been going on for a while now. I have asked him about her and he said that she is a co-worker. If so, why does she call him so often? I have called her and asked her the reason for calling so frequently. Her response was that she is just a friend. We had a huge argument over it and she stopped calling (at least that was what I was led to believe).

Got defensive

Recently, I checked his phone and saw that he received a call from her and there was a dialled call to her. I was so upset. I asked him when was the last time that he had heard from her and he said it had been a long time. So I responded by saying that if it were so long ago, why is it that just the day before they spoke to one another. He got defensive, saying that I should not have gone into his phone.

Months went by, there were no calls until recently he got a call, talked for a few minutes, then hung up. I pretended to be asleep but saw him delete the number from the call log. I asked him why she called; he said she just wanted to know why he was not at work. However, his responses did not match that line of conversation. He thinks I am a fool.

I have asked him why he lies to me and he just gets mad and stops speaking to me. I am stressed. I have tried to do everything to please this man and all he does is hurt me over and over again. Do you think I am judging him wrongfully?

P.E., Clarendon, Jamaica

Dear P.E.,

I think you are behaving like a silly person and you need to stop searching this man's phone and questioning him as if he were a child. You are a nagging woman and you are driving he away from you. True, this man is lying but he is afraid to tell you the truth. You have no right to be searching and searching and searching.

Evidently, this girl is his special friend. They may be closer than they should be, but you may cause him to gravitate even more towards her by your attitude towards him. You shouldn't call the girl. It may make matters worse between your boyfriend and yourself. Cool it.

Pastor