I believe that I have touched on this topic of the Internet language before, but after getting a message on Facebook that really made me feel as though I was standing around the tower of Babel immediately after God sent down his directive creating the multitude of languages we now have, I felt a column coming.

I told My Friend P and he agreed that this new Internet-speak indeed has become a new language with its own grammar and all the things that make a language unique.

So if the subeditors, the computer Star spellcheck and Star proofreader will allow I am about to write a sentence that is in full Internet-speak which I realise is now more than possible. Here we go:

"Wtvr cud u b tekin 2 di FB weerl, plz! Ur lmtd yrsss wll c u dwl 4 dys."

Texting speech

Now that is a complete sentence in IM, texting speech. And if you can't read it, well too bad it just means that you are not with it. As Star readers, I am pretty sure that most of you can read it, but for you out-of-touch souls who are having a problem here is the translation. (Truth is, this translation is really for the Star Editor, and the Star proofreader so that they don't can the column.)

"Whatever could you be taking to the Facebook world? please! Your limited years will see you dying with laughter for days."

Pointless letters

The amazing part about the new language is how it appears that vowels are just pointless letters removed for ease of type. But then again it gets a bit stupid when some abbreviations become as long as the original word. Check out weerl [world] and yrsss (years) .. but if you were born anywhere close to when the world was approaching the Y2K ("The Year 2000", which back in the days of Noah's ark we would have simply called 2000) landmark, then this will not seem strange to you at all.

Help their

I am glad I was right at the 'tower' when the new languages started, it really makes it a lot easier to understand their origin. I am really sorry for the folk who will be around in another 40 years, who are going to grow up on Internet speak. Heaven help their teachers.

Now for an aside on technology and the amazing possibilities which exist that we have yet to tap into. My mom was behind a man in the supermarket at the cashier who came up a bit short of cash for his bill. He needed a couple hundred dollars more to pay for his groceries.

So the man told the cashier no problem because he had credit, on his phone. And, he handed the cashier the phone and told her to just take the credit off as payment. The cashier was a bit perplexed and he said to her "Yes man, credit is on the phone." He checked the credit on the phone, showed her the amount on the screen and told her to take her payment.

Now there is a thought - a phone credit card/atm card. Hmmmm.

Email comments to: myfriendp@hotmail.com

I am glad I was right at the 'tower' when the new languages started, it really makes it a lot easier to understand their origin. I am really sorry for the folk who will be around in another 40 years, who are going to grow up on Internet-speak.