Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the mighty name of Jesus. I am a teenager who is trying to live a good life but my father is giving me a 'fight.'

I am 15 years old. I am so stressed out and depressed. The only solution I see is one of two things: boys' home or prison. Those are what hang over my head presently.

It all started when my grandmother began travelling abroad. I have lived with my father and grandmother ever since I was 2 years old. Everything was going well until he got involved with this woman. She moved into our home with her little daughter. She began to mistreat me and tell lies on me. My father would beat me based on things she said about me, without asking me for my side of the story. If I went to look for my mother, he would beat me for that too.

Special love

I know that my mother would want me to live with her but I don't like anywhere else besides being at my grandmother's house. My father also treats me badly because his mother has a special love for me. She cares for me and she also provides for me; my father does neither. I live only for my grandmother and my mother.

I went to a good high school in Spanish Town but because I was so stressed, my grades fell and I was kicked out of school. I used to smoke and drink a lot. That helps me to sleep and it makes it easier to bear the pain of my father beating me. My mother saw that I was having a problem and took me to the Child Development Agency, where I got regular counselling. My father knew about this but never came with me, and just thinking about that hurts. I love my father but he does not care for or about me.

His girlfriend was still treating me badly and he still curses me at all times. It got to a point where my grandmother came back to Jamaica and told the girlfriend to leave the house. There is where things got worse. My father started telling lies on me. He said that I robbed people and have been on the run from the police. He has even said that I have a gun.

Pastor, I am not a wrongdoer. I got so depressed that I thought of suicide. My mother took me to a counsellor at the University Hospital where I was admitted for six weeks. When I came out, I kept out of trouble but my father still behaved the same way. I don't talk to him now because I can see that he wants to put me in trouble, as he says that I am the one responsible for messing up his life.

About two or three weeks ago, I was speaking with him and it turned into an argument where he told me bad words and he pushed me. I threw a stone at him and it hit him in the head. He called the police, allowing them to arrest me and they charged me for unlawful wounding. My mother bailed me. I went to court and was told to come back for sentencing. The courts never gave me a chance to defend myself. I feel depressed and stressed out. I do not know what to do. Look at what my father has done to me. I want to be someone that my sisters can look up to. I hope that there is no father that treats or will ever treat their child the way my father has treated me. I await your advice and your encouraging words.

M.B., Kingston

Dear M.B.,

I regret hearing that your father and yourself have had a very rocky relationship and that you feel he hates you. I am also sorry to know the relationship deteriorated to the extent that you were charged for wounding and now you are to be sentenced soon.

From the tone of your letter, it seems to me that you did not have a lawyer. Perhaps your grandmother and mother did not think you needed one, but you did. You said that the judge did not give you a chance to explain yourself. If you had a lawyer, that would not have happened. I am sure justice will be done. It may not appear that way right now but the judge will receive a full report on you and act accordingly.

I will be praying for you.

Pastor