I am 17 years old and currently attending high school. The problem is I am extremely irritated with my father. He told me that I am going to be the 'talk of the town.' He thinks I am going to be promiscuous and a floozy. The reason for all this insult is because I have a friend who is 19 years old. The 'world' seems to think that she has had many sexual partners but I really don't know about that. My father thinks I will be just like her.

About a month and a half ago, a guy came to her house, where she lives with her parents. He spent some time with her there. I met him while I was there. Our friendship grew rapidly. I would go to my friend's house just as I usually did, not more or less otherwise my father would be suspicious. However, one day, the guy was passing my house and he called me. I went out to the backyard, where he was. After about half an hour, my father came home and came all the way around to the backyard.

I told the guy to leave. Immediately after he left, my father started insulting me. He called me a "dog," and a "john crow." I can't even tell you what else he said, but you can just imagine the words that he used.

For someone who does not lack intelligence, my father's behaviour was shocking. He thinks that my friend is trying to get myself and the guy together but she is not. It is all up to us and I believe that it is just the hand of fate. My father is so disrespectful. He thinks I will be a victim of teenage pregnancy but I am not having sex.

He said that I don't appreciate what he has done for me because he is my only parent. I have not seen my mother in ten years. She left us when I was 7 years old. He thinks I will be ungrateful to him. My older brother teases me constantly about the guy, saying that he is penurious (having nothing financially). My brother says he cannot help me or give me anything and I should find someone who can at least help me further my education.

Pastor, I will not become promiscuous and neither will I succumb to my father's prediction. No way will I fall into that predicament, it is morally wrong. I would like your help in dealing with this situation. I need some fatherly advice, as it seems that I don't have a father. He is trying to protect me but he is not using his intelligence. He is forcing me over the edge and destroying my self-esteem. My best friend says he is probably stressed and fed up. Could it be that he is tired of his responsibilities as a single parent? I speedily need your help.

A.S., Clarendon

Dear A.S.,

Thank God you have a good father. Perhaps he overreacted but it does not mean that he hates you and that he intends to destroy your self-esteem. He knows how men can be crafty and how eager they are to "get into a girl's pants" or "under her skirt." So he blew his top and shook you up.

I want you to swallow your pride and go to your father and tell him that you are sorry for what happened. And assure him that there is no intimacy between this guy and yourself. Tell your father that you love and appreciate him and you will never do anything to cause him to be ashamed of you.

Make sure that you get the support of your brother. He too should be assured that this young man you met is just a friend and nothing more.

Pastor