Dear Pastor,

I have a problem that I am not so certain a lot of people experience. I have trust issues. Though it sounds simple, it is much more complicated than one would imagine.

In all my life and increasingly over the last few years, I have found it hard to believe anything that people, especially men, say. As a result I don't get close to people, at all. Presently if I should say that I have one friend, it would be a lie from the pit of hell.

can't help it

I've recently lost my best friend due to an atrocious quarrel between us when she decided to include my other close friend. She said to me that I always push away the people who love me. Pastor, I am more than aware of that, and I can't say that it's a hobby or a habit; it is something that I really can't help.

I think I know the cause of this problem. Growing up, I've always heard that men are dogs and that they only have one intention. That is, to have sex with women and drop them like 'hot potatoes'. I've also seen instances where men prove themselves to be no more than how the average woman would describe them. Also, I have come to the realisation that women are hypocrites and spend their time gossiping. In my book, no one is to be trusted as no one has good intentions.

emotionally drained

I am a terrible introvert and have become emotionally drained because of my trust issues. I've lost a lot of people who I know really care about me. I've become critical and judgmental and try to read through every one making sure I catch a perfect one, whether it's a friend or even a boyfriend. I am scared to death of heartbreak, so that forces me even more to keep far.

I am thinking of using my first major income on therapy or hypnosis to eliminate these issues I have. I am desperate. I don't want to spend the rest of my life not living it to the fullest because I am worried about getting hurt. What do you suggest? Do you think hypnosis is right in the sight of God?

A.T., Clarendon.

Dear A.T.,

You have come to realise that you need professional help. And you are correct. You are miserable and depressed. You have not yet realised that happiness is a choice. One can choose to be happy or to be unhappy. And amazingly, unhappy people try to pull along others with them. When persons are unhappy, they feel that others should be unhappy too.

change your outlook

It will take a long time for you to change. But you can change your outlook of life and your behaviour. You need therapy; therefore, I encourage you to make an appointment with a psychologist to do sessions with him/her. I must add quickly, that if you do not seek professional help, your condition may worsen. There is hope for you because you realise that you have a serious problem.

Pastor.