Dear Pastor,

I was wondering if you can help me. For the last three years I have been dating a Jamaican man. During this time I allowed this man to become a part of my family. I was there for him when his father died, by sending money to him when he needed it.

I have supported this man a lot and even took out a loan for him in my name. How foolish was I!!! Recently, in December my grandfather died in Jamaica and I attended the funeral. During this time I was calling and making arrangements for him to come down to where I was living to spend Christmas. This man kept telling me that he would be coming, but at the last minute he changed his mind.

Pastor, every other day we argue. This man only phones me when he wants money. The last time he took money from me, I demanded it back and he paid me £80 which was £20 less than I had given him. I am now finished with this guy, but I am mad at myself for being soft with people because I believe that when you help people, good would follow you.

I am sick and tired of users, especially Jamaican man. I have lost faith in God because everything I touch seems to 'go sour' or go bad.

M.B.

Dear M.B.,

Don't blame God for the silly decisions you make. When you met this man, did you talk to God about him? When you were sending your money to him, did you pray and ask God whether you should do so or not? Or did you just take it for granted that he would love you and honour you and even pay you back?

You were probably so happy to have a man in your life that you didn't even check him out. It is not every person who is biologically a man, is a real man. Some men live off women and don't see anything wrong with it. Some women pour the money on the men, trying to buy love. You know that when some women get into their late twenties and thirties they feel that time is running away from them, so they grab 'Mr Anybody,' and buy them clothes and cars hoping that these men will marry them. While they are feeding the men, the men are using their money to sport with other women.

Young lady, I am very sorry to know that this man has made a fool of you. And I hope that this bad experience will make you wiser. Try your best to get back some of the money that was given to him as loans. And please, don't waste your money like that again.

Pastor