What a gwaan people? Mi hope oonu good! Especially wid dis yah dramatic week yah: first di hijacking incident, den we get news bout budget. Well, anybody who did want one change, a get di change dem ask fah. Dem a get change like hot oil pon skin. Mi hope some ah oonu who siddung a complain an did tek money fi vote, wedda fi one side or di nex', mi hope oonu have di ten shilling puddung when change and hungry tek full effec'. Not one more word pon di matter! Suss time. Link me pon: hotgalcherry@hotmail.com.

NOT A BED OF ROSES

What a stress unleash pon di entertainment scene! Everybody did know say di groupie who go allegedly breed fi di band memba, miggle name ah "Been There And Done That", so mi nuh understand why ah did me one remain calm when mi hear say he are not di father. Why oonu did surprised an a hol' oonu breath like a Maury Povich show wi deh pon? Oonu have di show wrong: ah Jeopardy wi a play! Cherry Alexia Trebeck: "He is the father of Been There And Done That's" child, A) Coolie Producer B) Autotune deejay C) Show promoter C) Wangster Artiste" D) ... ("Ding!") Yes contestant Fake Friend? Contestant Fake Friend: "Is it Auto-tune deejay?"

Lawd, is a good ting di bwoy nuh fool an know say him did need one DNA test wid "Been There And Done That". Look how she when deh pop style pon facebook and myspace, Lawd!

AS FI DI SISTER ...

Yes massive "Been There and Done That" have one sistah name "Pass Round An Dip Eena" who breed fi one artiste too! And dis yah alleged puppa need fi get one DNA test too! She ah di nex one who when deh walk and boast bout di deejay ah har man an him ah di father. Den a say di baby due one month, but loeth an beholdeth, mi nuh know if ah one ten-month pregnancy, but di baby nevah born till di month afta. It seem like she nevah quite sure ah when fi har egg hatch eidah. What a stress! Dem people yah nuh use condom? Hear me artistes, start wear condom and say yuh freaky like dat so yuh go use glow in di dark or coloured!

NEX' GROUPIE WID DI PRODUCE

Hear mi now Mr Man, wha do yuh? Yuh cyaan go easy? Yuh gone now go tek up dis no-hit wonder and wudden even try hide it! From I born I nevah see nutten like dis. From she come out yah fi push di half-dead song, all now she cyaan go back a fi har yard. If she did well-hot mi wudda see wha you see. But di voice lame, har song lame and she nuh look right. Wid deh total, yet incomplete package deh wha yuh a gih yuh wife bun fah? If me a man an smaddy like dat come look me, me wudda push har to di lef' an say "sorry, excuse, mi a watch cement harden". Dat nuh more exciting? Me say smaddy a tell me say every whe him deh she "hitch up unda him arm like speed stick." Mi laugh till mi wheeze! Not to mention yuh van park up ova har apartment all di time. No wondah nuttin nah gwaan ovah dat deh music camp deh!

GULLY SQUAD? I ARE THINK NOT

Mi say people, di ink inna STAR not even dry good las' week before Julian tell Kaboom fi call, text, email, him nuh care, fi tell wi he are NOT managing Mavado new group name: Cheerleading, sorry, Gully Squad wid Flex, Mavado sister an some nex' iron balloon. What a way Addi mus a dead wid laugh! Julian, ah did jus' ASK mi ask; not STATE. So he are NOT manager for those people. Heh hey!

Massive Latah!