Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old female, who was dating an 18-year-old guy. When we began dating he didn't tell me that he had a girlfriend. We started a relationship and lived happily for about six months, after which I found out that he had another girlfriend. It was after I found out that he told me about her. I did not make it an issue because I loved him endlessly. I got pregnant for him, which is when everything changed. He stopped paying me as much attention as he used to. He has told me, however, that he loves us both (myself and his other girlfriend) and will not leave either of us.

frustrated

After I had the baby, we stayed together, but deep down inside its killing me. My baby is two years old and I am working in the hospitality industry.

Pastor, now I am frustrated. I can't love anybody else. I am still with him but it's killing me. I don't know what to do but I love him. It's not like he is giving me money or things like that. I am not getting anything from him. He will support the child when he can. I am in a better job than he is, so I don't stress him for anything.

Tell me what to do to leave this man alone. I can't live with the fact, knowing that he has two women, especially in the same district.

K.S., Jamaica

Dear K.S.,

I am sure you love your child. I am sure you will tell the world that you do not regret having him/her. When you heard that this man had another girlfriend, you should have ended the relationship with him. You never made an issue of it, so you gave him the impression that it was all right for him to openly have two women in his life.

I know you were young and naive but now his conduct is 'eating you out', so to speak. He is not supporting his child. He can't afford to support the child but he can afford to have another woman in the same district. What an embarrassment to you!

It is very difficult to convince young women that living with men, who are not supporting their children or them, is a waste of time. There is no future with them and it is better for them to move on. You are behaving as if this man has tied you down with a chain and has thrown away the key. When you are really fed-up with his behaviour, you will find ways and means to leave him. I wouldn't have to tell you how and when.

empty-handed

You shouldn't be struggling to make a decision. he has brought nothing to the table. He comes home empty-handed all the time. You must decide whether you are going to live with a man who is not ambitious and cannot even support his child.

Pastor