Dear Pastor,

I reside in the United States. I met a young man three years ago in Jamaica while I was on vacation visiting a friend. We started a serious relationship which was going well until I met someone here in the States. I thought this relationship would be cheaper and more convenient to maintain. I did not tell the guy in Jamaica the real reason, I just stopped calling him. Needless to say, after a year-and-a-half, the relationship ended and I regret giving up the one in Jamaica.

Earlier this year, I contacted the guy from Jamaica, asking if he would like to start over. He informed me that he was seeing someone else but it was not serious since she has a man whom she was living with. He said that there are trust issues between us and he would not trust or believe anything unless I did what I had to do. I called him every day, ran up my phone bills and also planned a trip to Jamaica.

This is my dilemma. During the four months that we spoke on the phone, I was also seeing another man. Now I am four weeks pregnant for him. I recently came back from my visit to Jamaica. Right before I found out I was pregnant for the other guy, the guy in Jamaica and I were talking about marriage because we have wasted many years.

I want to keep the baby. How do I tell someone I love that I am pregnant for someone I have only known for three months? We did use protection all the time, but once, the condom broke. The two people I have told said I should just tell the Jamaican guy that the baby is his because the timing is just three weeks off, but that is morally wrong, isn't it?

Should I tell him?

Should I keep the baby and lose the man I love? Because that may just happen if I tell him it's not his. Should I tell him it's his and live a lie? Or should I terminate it and marry the man I love and start our family together?

Please, help me. I await your advice.

Rock and a hard place, U.S.A.,

Dear Rock and a hard place,

You have not been very honest with your boyfriend in Jamaica. You know you have been playing around in America, and you have taken the man in Jamaica for a fool. He suspects that you have not been true to him, but you are far away; therefore, he cannot be sure of your lifestyle. How can you be giving this man the assurance that all is well between the both of you while, at the same time, you are going to bed with a man in America. That is very sad. Both of you have even been talking about marriage, while you have been in the arm of another man.

I am not condemning you; I am just sorry for the poor brother in Jamaica. Whatever you do, don't throw this 'belly' on him. He didn't get you pregnant. He is a young man. The weather in Jamaica is very hot, don't' give him any 'waistcoat' and 'jacket.' Ignore the advice of your friends. You are not known for speaking the truth but, this time, surprise yourself by telling your boyfriend in Jamaica that you got pregnant by another man.

Let the man who impregnated you stand up to his responsibility. Do not have an abortion! Have your baby. You will learn from your mistake. Call a family counsellor and go for counselling. I wish you well.

Pastor

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