Dear Pastor

I am a Jamaican, living overseas. I have been in a relationship with a man for the last two years and we have a child together and we are now living together also. My problem is that I can't trust him because he has cheated on me so many times.

He is a really good man when it comes to him working and supporting me and his child. He says that he loves me but I can't feel the love that he has for me. Sometimes I feel so lonely when I am with him, because he doesn't give me the attention that I need. Sometimes he can even be abusive towards me and because of this I feel like he is still cheating on me. I want to leave him but I am trying to hang in there for the sake of my child.

Help me pastor, I don't know what to do.

K., Philadelphia, United States

Dear K.,

Try your best and hang on in there with your husband. You believe that he is a cheater, but you did not say why you believe that he is cheating. You are probably correct, but I wouldn't suggest that you leave him, unless you are absolutely sure that you can mange on your own and that he is disrespectful to you.

You claim that he is a good provider, but he is not spending enough time with you. Therefore, I would suggest that you tell him that although you believe that he is trying, the relationship between both of you needs to be strengthened. Therefore, both of you should go and see a family counsellor. Don't give him the impression that there is a breakdown in your relationship because of his cheating. He may get angry, and refuse to go for counselling. Tell him that both of you should be closer as husband and wife; therefore, you need professional help.

Pastor