I am seeking your advice on my marriage.

My husband and I have been together for 15 years now. These years have been nothing but pain and misery. I stayed because I had nowhere to go. I am not educated so it was difficult to gain employment and I wanted my children to grow up in a stable home.

This man keeps me isolated from my relatives and everyone. He cheats on me with women in and around the neighbourhood, he beats me repeatedly and tells me things to put me down. He tries to get me pregnant always; some of the pregnancies I lost by stillbirth and the others by miscarriage. He has also accused me of cheating on him time and again. Some of the times he claims that people tell him that I am cheating and the other times he says that he dreams of it. This man actually believes that his dreams are real! Can you believe this?

He takes care of our three children and me financially but, on the other hand, he says things to make us feel guilty for receiving his financial help. I asked him for help to go back to school, but he said no.

Pastor, five years ago this man told me that we were divorced! Can you believe that my husband divorced me without my knowledge?

Please help me. I am tired of the mental and physical abuse. I feel like I am going insane. I am very bitter towards him. Having sex with this man is like being raped!

V.C., Clarendon, Jamaica

Dear V.C.,

I suggest that you seek the help of an attorney-at-law, immediately! You need lots of help. Some help you can get from a family counsellor, but there are some legal issues that must be dealt with by an attorney. You feel helpless. But, I rather believe that you have stayed in this relationship because you are fearful of what your husband (or ex-husband) may do to you.

I want to assure you that I will be praying for you. Please, let me know what progress you have made.

Pastor