I pray that the Lord continues to bless and keep you each day as you help others. I enjoy reading your column. I am a 34-year-old woman who left Jamaica 10 years ago. It has been almost two years now since I met and fell in love with a wonderful man of God. He is 32 years of age.

Pastor, I must admit, even though we live in different countries, I have never felt left out. He would call 98 per cent of the time just to see if I am ok, etc. We would travel together and spend time with each other whenever he came home to visit. We had plans to get married and have a family after he finishes his studies. He asked me to wait on him, which I am doing.

My problem is, about two weeks ago I was told by one of my family members that he has been trying to get intimate with one of her friends. Pastor, it broke my heart. I got so mad that I called him in a fit of anger and told him that he is a deceiver and I wish to never see him again. I also told him I wanted nothing else to do with him. After I cooled down, I realised how silly I had behaved. I tried calling him back, but he ignored all my calls and texts.

I asked a trusted brother to talk to him and to let him know how sorry I am. His response was that he was no longer interested in a relationship with me and that he is scared of my behaviour, seeing that this is the third time I have shown that I do not trust him. He told the brother that he is going on to do his master's and needs no distractions right now.

Pastor, what should I do? Do you think there is any hope for this relationship? I feel like letting go, but deep down I am not sure if it's the right thing to do. My mother says that I should not give up. He is still angry and refuses to speak to me.

Lonely heart.

Dear Lonely heart,

The approach you took was wrong. You ought not to believe everything you hear. Some girls interpret every kind gesture from a man to mean that he is hitting on them or wants to be intimate with them. If he shows any kindness, they believe that he wants to be with them. If a man gives a woman a ride in his car and friends of his girlfriend sees him, they are likely to tell her. And, if she is a fool and is quick-tempered, she is likely to 'tear in' on him and accuse him of having a relationship with the girl.

So, I ask you this question: "How do you know for sure that your cousin's friend is speaking the truth?' I cannot defend the man, but I know for sure that your approach to him was wrong. And, I cannot blame him at all for telling you to get lost. In other words, for saying 'bye-bye' to you, because, if he were to marry you, he probably wouldn't even be able to shake a sister's hand.

He has accused you of not trusting him. What do you know that you did not say in your letter to me? If you believe that this man is a player, you should have ended the relationship with him a long time ago. Now that you have told him that it is over, don't harass him. If he has a change of heart, he will call you. Please learn to control your anger at all times.

Pastor