Dear Pastor,

I have loved reading your columns for quite some time now. I am a 20-year-old woman who has a 27-year-old boyfriend. We have been together for two years and I love this man. I gave him my virginity. He has three lovely children who I love very much.

cursing each other

The problem is recently we having been cursing each other too much. A week does not pass that we don't get into an argument. We start arguing over the least little thing. He said I was full of attitude. He is not abusive but I don't know what to do. One day he asked me why I loved him and I didn't give him a reason, so he said that I did not love him, but that is not true.

Our relationship is at a point where it might soon end. Pastor, I don't want that to happen. So, please, help me. Tell me what to do.

K.W.

Dear K.W.,

It seems to me that this man and you are fighting over things that are insignificant. You haven't said that but it must be so. Have you ever heard the story about a man and his wife? His wife asked him, "Darling, do you love me?" The husband replied, "I told you once, I told you twice, now don't ask me again. If I change my mind, I will tell you." That was the end of that argument.

This man asked you, if you loved him. You did not reply so he told you that your lack of response meant you do not love him. You and this man are displaying childish behaviour. Perhaps he is correct when he said you are full of attitude, but so is he.

Couples might have strong disagreements from time to time but they must never curse or be disrespectful to each other. This man has three children. You love them but what has become of their mother? Or, should I say, mothers? Do you realise if you were to marry this man that you would have three step-children? Are you prepared for that?

youth

This man is 27 years old and you are 20. He has to learn to treat you well and to remember you are much younger than he is, and that you are a woman. Therefore, he should not take you for granted. If both of you are serious about each other, and believe that you have a future together, you should go for counselling.

Pastor