I am a 21-year-old woman desperate for advice. I am caught between two men and this situation seems impossible to get out of.

I met the first one around two years ago. He seemed like the man I wanted because he was tall, slim, handsome and he was 16 years older than I am.

older men

I like older men because some are mature and can teach you things. However, in the first part of our relationship he would pull some wicked disappearing stunts for two weeks at a time. I would call him so many times because I loved him and I thought something was wrong. When I got to him, he would tell me these amazing stories of what had happened to him. He also disappointed me so many times, I have actually lost count. He also made promises and didn't keep them. Pastor, I wanted to leave him so badly because I was very unhappy and knew I deserved better. I talked and begged him to change or I would leave. Nothing happened.

Then I met this wonderful man in a class that I was attending. He had just got baptised and was looking for someone to settle down with. Even though he was 30 (as I said before, I like older men), the problem with him was that he was fat and a little too nice. We started hanging out a lot and I put those reasons for not being with him behind me because he made me very happy. I started to feel good about myself because back then I thought God was punishing me by sending the first man who was perfect based on looks and chemistry but his other ways stunk.

I told the first guy about my new relationship. I let him know that I really liked this man and he treated me better. I thought he would have left but that only motivated him. He called and begged me to stay. He even got on his knees and cried. He asked me what he was doing wrong so he could correct them. I told him and he improved, big time. That's when the dilemma started.

truthful

Please note that I didn't keep anything from them. I told them the absolute truth because I wanted my conscience to be free and, at the end of the day, noone could say that I'm cheating, etc. They both love me and they both stood their ground. I could leave them but these kinds of men are hard to find in Jamaica and I may never get lucky again. I am a beautiful natural girl with hairy skin and they love that. I am a wonderful person. They are both attached to me sexually so I have given them no reason to leave.

Pastor, I don't know who to choose. I really want this to end well for everyone. Even though they are very mature, someone could snap. My intention was not for anyone to get hurt, emotionally or physically.

Pastor, I look forward for your fatherly advice.

T.K.

Dear T.K.,

Perhaps you are a beautiful girl but you are not smart at all. An intelligent girl does not talk such nonsense. What do you mean when you say that you can leave these men but men like these are hard to find in Jamaica? There is nothing exceptionally good about either of these men. You are only fooling yourself.

user

The first guy is a user, why can't you see that? Use your head. You should have been out of his life long ago. Why are you allowing what he did to convince you that he loves you? So many men have got down on their knees and begged most women but were not serious about what they said. So, stop believing what he says. If you continue believing that man, you are going to be whipped by your own backward thoughts. You should have ended the relationship with him long ago.

If you want a man in your life and you believe that you and the younger man are compatible, you should try to develop a solid relationship with him. Don't continue to be intimate with both men at the same time, you will get hurt.

Pastor