Please help me with this problem. I was raped when I was 14 and got pregnant with twins. The father of my children's family took away the children and told me to consider them dead. I come from a poor family and these people who I am speaking about are rich.

I did not talk about it and I buried the past and did what I was told. It so happened that the children grew up, learnt the truth and started looking for me. I recently met my children for the first time.

I am now in a relationship and, because of what happened in my past, it caused my relationship to fall apart. My boyfriend told me that I am not honest and I need to be truthful to him. Pastor, how was I supposed to dig up my past and pour out my guts to this man? Should I have told him I was raped? Well, I told him the truth and now he does not want to see me. Who could have guessed that that would have happened?

hurt

Pastor, I just cannot tell everybody about what has happened to me. It hurts, it hurts so much. He just can't understand that this is so difficult for me.

Please, tell me what to do. Please, help me. May God bless you forever.

Hurt, Cayman.

Dear Hurt,

I regret hearing that you were sexually abused at 14 and became pregnant. The man who abused you and got you pregnant should have been arrested, charged and sentenced to prison. The attitude of his relatives did not help the situation. Instead of empathising with you when they agreed to take the children, they behaved as if you got yourself pregnant. So they warned you that you would not see the children again. I am glad you met with your children recently. I hope you would endeavour to bond with them.

Concerning your boyfriend, he is upset with you because you did not tell him about the incident which took place when you were 14. He should empathise with you, not behave as if you are nobody because of what happened in the past. Now that you have told him, he cannot deal with the matter. You have not done anything wrong. If this guy loves you, he will stay with you. If he wants to go, do not fight to keep him.

Please, do not believe that because of your past, you will never find a man who will love you and treat you with respect. Bad things sometimes happen to good people. You should consider going for counselling.

Pastor