DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS,

PO BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON.

TELEPHONE: 929-1667/8 EMAIL: PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM

Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old woman who has been living with my children's father for the last two years and seven months. I love him very much but I don't know if he loves me in the same way. We have two children together and he has six otherwise. My two kids are the last ones for him. He had four babymothers before me. I do not get along with two of them. They feel as though he spends all his money on me and our two sons.

warring mother

One of his babymothers had a child for him before me. She goes around telling her friends that she left him when, in fact, he left her for me. She now wants to fight me for him, but I am not that type of person who fights over men. I would sooner walk away. She says he did not buy anything for their child when she was pregnant, so she thought the same thing would have happened to me.

One day she went to his place of business and started an argument with him. He took something and hit her in the head. She had to be hospitalised. After what he did to her, she broke into his house and broke a piece of his furniture. Her friend sells beside my workplace and she told her friend they had a fight. He sends money for the baby but she tells people he doesn't support his child. He says she is working and whenever she wants anything for the child she calls him.

cheater

He says he is now a one-woman man but I do not believe him. He lied to me a lot when I first met him. When I had my first son I stayed with my parents for a while. One day I went to his house for something for the baby and there was a woman inside. He told me she was his cousin. Afterwards, he apologised and said that he was sorry. His reason for doing it was because I just had a child and could not have sex. He sends credit to his babymother's phone, but he won't send any to mine. I have this feeling they are still together. He says there is nothing between them but I just don't trust him. He has told me he loves me. He comes home almost every night except Fridays and Saturdays.

His car crashed some time ago and I had to work to send money for this other woman's child because he did not have it. I had to maintain my family and someone else's. He is a taxi operator, so he makes his living by operating his car. Some say they would not do the good things that I have done for that little girl because of what I have been through with the mother. They say I am a good person, even her friends have told her that.

Pastor, I do not know what to do. Should I continue this relationship? Please, advise me.

SH, Kingston, Jamaica

Dear SH,

This man has had children with five women and he is still playing the fool. He is a taxi driver and he has to maintain his car. There is no way he can make enough to adequately support his children. He would have to be hiding from his children's mothers. If they were to take him to court he would not be in a position to pay child support.

liar

I don't know how you could love such a man. I don't know how you could be fighting over him. You know he is a liar. Why continue to waste your time on him? He is always having arguments with one of his babymothers and could have got himself arrested when he wounded one of them. What are you doing with this man? I cannot encourage you to continue this relationship. Use common sense. Get out now before he impregnates you again.

Pastor