Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your columns. You give advice that I am quite impressed with. I have a little problem of my own and would like your advice. I lived in the Caribbean for a while where I became intimate with a special man. I left him and moved to England to make life for myself. I told him that I would return to him but I did not.

got married

After 10 years apart, we got back together but he is now living with another woman. I visited him and we got married while his woman was on vacation.

It has been two years now since we have been married and he still hasn't ended the relationship between himself and the other woman. They are both still living together in the Caribbean. I am not getting any younger and I need him in my life. I am willing to move back to the Caribbean to be with him. But, I wonder if I am making the right move.

Should I divorce him and let us both move on with our lives? Or should I give him more time to sort things out? He wants me to move to the Caribbean and be with him, but he is taking too long to end the relationship with her.

I need your advice. Please do not spare my feelings as I need your honest opinion.

C., England

Dear C.,

From what I gather from your letter, is that this man has not been truthful and honest to you. While you were away, both of you did not keep in touch with each other and he got involved with another woman.

I am assuming that you got involved with another man too (although you have not said so). What is sad is that you met with him while his woman was on vacation and both of you secretly got married unknown to the woman with whom he is living. That couldn't be right. That is wickedness. It is deceitfulness.

You headed back to England, but the man is still living with his woman. And, it is likely, that even if you were to return to the Caribbean, he would not leave her totally for you. He would consider himself a big man with two women.

Do you think it is right for you to come to the Caribbean and the man leaves the woman with whom he has been living for many years? What do you have that the other woman doesn't have? Yea, I know that you probably have a few pounds, but if this man wanted your money, he would have been living in England with you.

So, let me tell you what you ought to do. Go see a lawyer and set yourself free, because what you did was evil and the evil will follow you. I don't believe that your husband seriously wants you to come back to the Caribbean because he knows that if you do, he will be in a 'hot pot of chilli'.

Pastor