Michael Jackson - File

What a gwaan massive! What a week! All now mi cyaan believe say Michael Jackson dead. Is like a bad dream. But wha me find more sorrowful is di fact at some people who used to bash di man when him alive and call him all sorta name like Wacko Jacko an all dese tings, a di same people dem who come an a bawl now say him a did di greatest entertainer dem evah know.

Nobody memba couple years ago when di man when deh look fi some rap artiste fi collaborate wid and nobody nuh waah go near him wid one ten foot pole? Now look deh. All of a sudden dem love him now dat him dead. I nevah see such a ting inna all a mi life. But as Kaboom say, our entertainers have a lot fi learn bout really entertaining people and becoming legends right around di world. Suss time! Link me pon hotgalcherry@hotmail.com.

NO MORE HUNGER!

Mi say people, French Connection sell off to di flippin worl an back again! Ofcourse TAE wudden really know, cause him reach 20 minute before police lock it off. But people, a di bes' one in years mi go. Dis year it sort out proppa! Mi say a puuure vibes. Andrew, mek sure fi December yuh hire some vibes people, wi nuh haffi know say yuh hire dem, mek it jus seem like a some real vibes people in deh. It will sell off again.

DI AFTER-PARTY FIGHT

But people di real action come aftah French Connection inna di parkin lot! When everybody a go a dem car inna di parkin lot, wi buck up Matterhorn woman Toni-Ann an her fren dem inna one seriously sort out Dodge car a cuss one gal inna one Pajero infront.

Dem a tell di gal fi gweh an stop look inna har car an stop block di entrance wid har vehicle. Di girl inna di front a di line inna di Pajero decide say she naw move and start hol' up di line wid di cussin.

People! Wi ongle see one high colour woman storm outta har car a di back a di line, wid one foot a boot pon har foot, an one inna har han! Di woman march up to di Pajero an start cuss di girl fi come outta di way. Massive, wi ongle see di woman start hammer di Pajero driver inna har head wid di spike heel! An oonu can imagine say di whole a har fren dem siddung inna di car a watch?

A when di Pajero girl come out an start fight back, clothes start tear off, breast start show and shoes continue fi lick inna head! And all of dis time, Toni-Ann dem inna di vehicle behind a suffer from shock den start dead wid laugh.

But it nuh done! People!! Di next day a Rum Punch, wi nuh buck di Pajero girl inna di SAME clothes as di night before? Wi nearly keel ovah! Mi a wondah if di boot heel knock out har memory! None a har fren dem cudden tell har say she go out di night before inna di same clothes? But den again, she probably not even recognise har fren dem neidah! A sign yaw man.

CORPORATE THIEF?

Spice, a wha teck some gal? Dem nuh know say yuh nuh have no head? Mi say people, mi nearly dead wid laugh when mi hear di drama. As oonu know, Spice open one clothing store couple week ago. Heenheewhooo, one well-dressed uptown gal go inna di store an try tief one glasses.

Di worker dem say, dem inna di store an see di gal come een, well-dressed inna work clothes and a look roun. So dem ask if dem can help, she say no. So dem stan up a watch har a fish roun some Applebottom glasses, and di clerk see when she put it inna di handbag, but she still nuh say nutten. So she wait till di girl a walk outta di store den she say to her, "So yuh not going to pay for the glasses in your bag?"

Di gal frighten so till she nevah know wha fi do. She jus tek it out, put it dung an walk out. Now ofcourse, when Spice hear, she a say dem shudda lock di door, call di police an mek sure nuh let her out till she, Spice, reach deh. Mi say I laugh so till, because mi cyaan imagine di piece ah drama wha wudda unfold inna dat deh store if Madam Scorn Dem did reach in time!

Some people jus tief so till dem nuh know wha fi tief say again. Yuh can almost put yuhself inna jail fi one pair a glasses?

LA ROOSE CURSED?

What a ting happen rounah La Roose eeh? Di management say di place closed indefinitely. Is like di place cursed or summen. Look how dem wipe out di owner, him brodda, di ownah bodyguard an' a nex man.

A wha really a happen inna deh country yah? Cause mi nuh know how it mek sense say di man dem dead from 11 o'clock di night and a when day light di followin day, di police finally reach roun deh an a tape off an tek up body. Mi nuh undastan why rounah Cockburn Pen did undah lock dung di night it happen? Wha go happen to di people dem who used to wuk roun deh? Whe dem go get money from? A straight badness some man who used to work gone back inna now enuh, jus like dat. Mi a tell oonu say summen wrong wid deh country yah an wi need smaddy serious fi solve di problem.

Deejay Spice - Contributed

A WHA DO SOME 'PASTOR'?

Mi nuh know if oonu memba, but couple month ago mi tell oonu bout one pastor who always a tell him housemate dem and church breddrin say di lover who deh visit him and a sleep inna him bed fi how much day, a him 'sister'.

Well, henheewhoo, di man gone a him church a preach say him a bun out fornication and a say any day him find out say nobody inna him church a fornicate, a straight back bench fi dem. And apart from dat, people sight one particular man a visit him a 'likkle too often'.

Now if anybody evah see mi dyin crosses? Every man in charge a him own soul enuh; so me cyaan imagine a go a one church an instead a di pastor a gimme words of encouragement and tell we ways fi tek control a wi problems and sins wha plague wi, di man basically a issue threat from di altar.

MI WAAH FI KNOW:

ZJ Rush how yuh can chat so much? Yuh nuh feel like say if yuh cut dung di talkin likkle, more people will tune een? Mi say as soon as wi start ketch a vibe, a him dat at it wid di yappin. Lawd.