So Jamaica is one of the happiest countries on the planet. Ha. I find that amusing. Swamped by debt the size of the Blue Mountain range, scarred by a murder rate that would put many a war to shame, and led by a bunch of incompetents, it would seem there really isn't much to be happy about.

I mean it's easy to figure why people in the Dominican Republic would be happy, very happy. Each day when they wake up all they have to do is look across the border, a daily reminder that things could be a lot worse. If I was living there I'd be happy I am not in Haiti, too.

But it's a little harder to determine why Jamaicans would be seen as among the happiest of people. I mean, it doesn't take much for two people to come to blows these days. It can be over anything including the way one person looks at another. Last week, some fool walked out in front of my car along Half-Way Tree Road while the light was on green and cussed me out on top of it to boot. So, on the surface, it would seem like we are among the angriest people, not the happiest.

But we live in a country where we really don't obey the laws; from traffic laws to larceny laws, we tend to pretty much ignore them and do as we please without fear or prosecution. I know we're happy about that.

room to brood

One other sign of how happy we are is just how much we party. Times are hard - or, at least, so they say - but you wouldn't know it based on how our people are. There is a party every week and a whole series of them come next month down in Negril. We may not have money to pay the phone bill, the rent or the light bill, but we certainly have stacks to party with.

And you know when you're not happy you really don't want to talk with anyone. You don't want people in your space. You need room to brood. But that doesn't apply here in Jamaica, does it? Every man and his dog have a BlackBerry these days and they ping all day long. Ping. Ping. Ping. I swear people will be in the shower pinging. I don't even know why they go out anymore. I have been to events where the music is blasting and people drinking themselves silly but you see scores of people their heads buried in their BlackBerrys pinging like crazy. Man, the phone companies are happy for sure.

But with all that, one of the main reasons why we are so happy in this country has a lot to do with vegetation. The weed is everywhere. So even when you have no job, no ambition, no future, once you have some weed, everything is cool. As they used to say, all fruits ripe.

'promised land'

This also explains why the United States is at the bottom of the pile as far as happiness goes. The US might be the 'promised land' to many people but only if you're rich. If you're not, you have to work like a slave. Sure, you could become rich eventually but, by then, you'll be too tired to spend it.

And Americans have too many issues, man; seriously.

The gays aren't happy. They're never happy, which is quite a paradox since they're called 'gays'. Blacks aren't happy because they want to live like the white man, and the whites aren't happy because everybody is moving in on their territory. And everybody is unhappy because they're afraid of anything that is not American.

But can you really blame them? After Bush and Cheney made them believe that they needed to be afraid of everything, fear has become a way of life now in the United States, especially for those who are scared to death that there is a black man in the White House. They must be as unhappy as hell.

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But with all that, one of the main reasons why we are so happy

in this country has a lot to do with vegetation. The weed is

everywhere. So even when you have no job, no ambition, no future, once you have some weed, everything is cool.