Dear Pastor,

I am a frequent reader of your column and must commend you on the wonderful advice you have been giving over the years. I am also writing this letter to seek your guidance as I think I am going through a phase and I do not want to make mistakes that I will regret.

My problem is that I am attracted to people of my own sex. Every time I go out I keep finding myself checking out other guys and this makes me feel really uncomfortable. To deal with this problem I tried dating women but did not feel any attraction towards them. I also tried to masturbate by looking at pictures of women but I ended up thinking about guys. I also found out that for me to get an erection, all a guy would have to do is talk to me.

When I was about five years old, my mom and dad would leave me at the house of one of their friends. This friend had a son, about 16 at that time, and when we were alone he would tell me to feel his genitals and he would do the same to me. He also kissed me on the lips. He did this on more than one occasions and told me he would kill me if I said anything to anybody and so I did not mention it to anybody until now. He also threatened to rape me once, but that didn't happen because I told my mom that I didn't want to stay there anymore, and that's how it all stopped.

Do you think my problem is due to what happened in my past? Please tell me what to do.

A.B., St Thomas, Jamaica

Dear A.B.,

I am indeed saddened to hear that you were fondled and threatened by a 16-year-old when you were only five years old. I am sure that what happened has affected you all your life. It is indeed very sad that growing up you never sought professional help.

I am sure that it is not too late to go through therapy. May I suggest that you call Family Life Ministries and set an appointment to see one of their counsellors, preferably a psychologist.

Pastor