Dear Pastor,

I am a 31-year-old female. I have been married to my husband for five years. When we first got married everything was nice. I later found out he was cheating and had brought home a STD. I was going to leave him but he begged me not to, so I forgave him.

Just recently, I went to see my gynaecologist. She told me I have another STD. I asked my husband who he was sleeping with. He said, 'no one', so I asked him, 'How would I have got it otherwise?'

He told me he did not know how that could have happened because since he cheated on me and got caught, he has never done it again. So, you know, that means he was pointing the finger at me.

I have never cheated on this man. Pastor, I am so confused. I love my husband very much. We have a beautiful one-year-old daughter. I am trying to make this marriage work but I can't let him keep bringing home these diseases.

Please, tell me what to do.

S.M., Florida, United States

Dear S.M.,

You claim that your husband is pointing his finger at you as the one who has cheated. I beg to disagree. He was caught again and he is ashamed. He doesn't know how to respond to your questions, so he is talking nonsense. You know you haven't done anything wrong. You know you have a very careless and irresponsible husband. He is behaving like a fool.

risks

He knows he is playing around and did not even think of using a condom. Only a man who doesn't care takes such risks. Next time that you see the doctor insist he goes with you. Of course, I am aware your doctor is a gynaecologist but he needs to go with you so the doctor can give him a stern warning of what can happen to you if he continues to play around.

I hope that by now he has gone to see his doctor and has received treatment for the STD. I know you love this man, so both of you will have to decide what direction the relationship will take. No one should blame you, however, if you believe it is time for you to move on. On the other hand, if you decide to stay with him, you would have to protect yourself. I am sure you understand what I mean.

Pastor