Dear Pastor,

Sometimes I wonder if God is sleeping because He sees how much I am suffering and I pray to Him, but still there is no change. I am 29 and I have two children. Their father does not help me to take care of them. I have no one to turn to for help. I cannot get a job and, believe me, I have tried. Since I got laid-off from where I was working, I have been to numerous places, with no luck. I have been to job-placement agencies, but still no job.

I have been single for about a year now. Whenever a man says he likes me, it is either thats he just wants sex or he stops calling me for no reason. At times, I feel really lonely. I just want someone to talk to and someone to love me, but I cannot even find that. I feel ugly and just hate myself so much right now. As I write this letter, tears are falling from my eyes. I don't think I look good enough for a man to really want and cherish me. I have no friends where I live and my being unable to talk to anyone stresses me out.

The father of my children does not call them. He works in another Caribbean island. He has been away for about two or three years. He once sent some money, which amounted to J$5,000. Whatever I get, I have to spend on my kids. I have nothing to show for myself at 29.

It seems as if I got pregnant on my own, so they are my responsibility. I want to be a designer and my designs are very good, but I have no one to give me the help I need. I would like to attend school, but if I were to do so, who would give me bus fare and give my children lunch money? No one, not a single soul.

My sister is able to help me, but she doesn't. Our father passed away and, because of that, I was not able to finish school. My uncle started helping me to go back to school but, after a while, he just stopped. My sister works and has a man who owns a bus. Her children do not go to bed hungry, but mine do. They cry sometimes because of how hungry they are. This makes me cry but I try not to do so in their presence as that would hurt me even more.

My so-called sister says she only cares about her two children, her man and our mother. Our kids go to the same school.

I ask for endless strong prayer because I feel as though I have no future. I do feel like taking my life, but when I look on my two children, I begin to think otherwise as I know that if I am not in their lives, they will never have a good future. Please pray that I find a good job to be able to take care of my children and myself. Sometimes when I do not have what it takes to send them to school, God always works out a way for them to go.

God bless and keep you. I look forward to hearing from you.

A., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear A.,

First of all, let me remind you that it is not your sister's responsibility to support your children, it is yours and, of course, their father. Your sister may feel that she could help you from time to time, but you ought not expect her to support them by feeding or sending them to school.

Every woman and man should think seriously about family life and how they are going to support their children before bringing them into this world. It is indeed sad to hear that your children's father is not supporting them and that you are unemployed.

Yes, I will pray for you. But, I hope you will be willing to accept employment wherever it is available and not insist that you must have an office job.

Perhaps you should consider putting an ad in The Gleaner to do days work or anything that is available and legal. I wish you well.

Pastor