Dear Pastor,

I am a married woman living with my husband for a year now. The truth is I don't love him but I know he loves me. I have a man in another country and we have been together for the last six years. The other man I am with has a lot of women but I still love him.

When I went to be with him, he asked me to have a child by him. I am willing to do so because he helped me to go to school and I am madly in love with him. He even wants me to come and live with him.

I would love to know if this man loves me or is he playing with me. He has beaten me a couple of times and I left him. However, we got back together because he said he changed.

Please give me your fatherly advice on what to do.

B., Caribbean

Dear B.,

You are a naughty woman. To protect you, I have deleted where your lover is living. However, I repeat, you are a very naughty woman. You claim you do not love your husband. Why did you marry him? Is it that you felt time was running out on you and you needed a man to take care of you? What was it?

You married him but you have a wayward mind. Your heart is not with your husband. It is on this wild man who has many other women you know of. You are not easy. You make me wonder once again how is it some of you women could stay with men who are abusive and wild. I am tempted to say why I believe you are still playing with this man who lives in another country. However, I am not going to allow my mind to run wild.

I am sure you know what I mean and, you know I am not wrong. I am sorry for your husband, poor fellow. You are giving him what he does not deserve and that is 'bun' and more 'bun'. If you don't love him, don't continue to punish him by pretending all is well between the both of you when you know your heart is not with him.

I believe it is possible for you to learn to love your husband. However, it will not happen if you continue to have a sexual relationship with this other man who lives outside your country. The fact that you say you are willing to have a child for the other man tells me you have no intention to learn to love your husband and to make the marriage work.

Pastor