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Professor Nuts - File
Professor Nuts was one of the major performers on Saturday night's Linstead leg of Comedy Fest, but when severe audio problems angered the audience members at the skating rink, who had come for a night of laughter, he came up with a solution to the situation.
This was after the unbilled Little Kevin was tolerated as he wiggled his torso in a belly-skin shirt and went as far as going on his hands and knees and wining to the beat. When he tried to use the microphone, though, he was dismissed with handclaps by an audience that occupied about a quarter of the seats provided.
Rohan Gunter plugged away through the microphone problems and shouted complaints about the substandard audio, doing everything he could to be heard better (including coming off the stage and getting closer to the front row) and managing to raise a couple laughs in the process. Eventually, though, he said that the problem had to be fixed and he would return when it had been.
To compound the situation, the lighting was extremely poor, with a single portable light behind and to one side of the performers not illuminating their faces for the audience.
When Comedy Fest Linstead was on the brink of chaos, though, Professor Nuts conferred with comedian Leighton Smith, who had been trying to explain to the audience to no avail. He got them to move to the back of the seating area and turn the chairs around to face the sound system, which had a much better (though still less than outstanding) audio set-up - and the show went on, after the clatter of metal chairs being adjusted had subsided.
At the restart, after some competent dejaying from Medicine, the night's turning point was Lemon, who utilised lyrics from popular songs in giving advice to a woman who requested a stay at Ritz-Carlton in order for them to have sex. Reading from the gospel according to Beenie Man, he advised her "pon bed, pon floor, against wall".
Sarge was out first and when Apache Chief joined him, they started using music immediately, with Chief imitating Chuck Fender and Etana. Apache Chief's singing to Sarge's commands went over well, the audience raising the roof for his vocal impersonations of Buju Banton, Mavado and Lady Saw, complete with a crotch pat.
Granny hit the roof with a shoe that was flipped off during her dancing to popular songs, in which she wiggled her artificially enlarged chest and posterior. And when she flipped off a series of wigs in rapid succession, then flipped the wig of a lady in the audience, there were shrieks of delight.
Leighton Smith advised all not to buy a phone card with Usain Bolt's picture on it, as the credit would 'run off' very quickly.
Nuts was clapped and cheered and he claimed his due credit for rescuing the situation earlier. Then he delivered a mixture of old lyrics and new jokes, the former including 'Nuff Man Deh Ya' and 'Don't'. Among the latter were an encounter between an American and a Jamaican, the American wanting to have a conversation with the Jamaican. Testing if he was fit to speak with, the Jamaican asked if he knew why the faeces of the cow, donkey and goat are shaped differently, even though they eat the same grass.
Black-er plugged Impulse energy drink to an audience that was now ready to call it a night.
A Comedy Fest organiser explained that they were not responsible for providing sound at the Linstead leg of Comedy Fest, which moved to Ocho Rios, St Ann, last night.
