Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old woman who attends an Adventist church. I have been a Christian for the past three years. I have been through a lot of stress in my lifetime. Normally when I have my problems, I cry with the hope that maybe they will go away. The funny thing is it always goes away for a while, until a new problem arises. Now, I just don't know what to do. I need your advice.

I lost my virginity when I was 11. My stepfather was the one who took it. Not knowing what to do, I kept it as a secret, until recently. It doesn't bother me much anymore, but it hurts and it causes me to think about seeking revenge on any man I can get a grip on.

working late

I found myself having problems once again with my present step-father. At 18 I began working and getting in at hours that he referred to as late. When I started working, I got home relatively early, but when the person who worked alongside me left, I had double work on my hands. My stepfather saw the change in hours that I got home, but he did not understand the reason why. He started calling me names and told me to leave his house.

I left the house and went to stay with a friend. While at my friend's house, it became harder for me because I only made $6,400 per fortnight and with that I had to contribute towards the bills. Eventually, I had to leave my friend's house.

Presently, I am living with my grandmother. But, it is not that great. At first, it was working well, because I was working and had a boyfriend whom, I stayed with on most occasions. But that relationship went down the drain, and then my time was up where I worked.

I was on my face and stopped going to church. I started to look for another job. The only jobs available were the ones at 'massage parlours', which are known sex institutions. I ended up taking a job there, which I did for one night and then left. I left because I hated the job. I hated what they stood for and most of all, it made me hate myself. For that one night I was there, I had three clients. Believe it or not, each of those three clients asked me why I was doing it. I told them I needed the money. They all encouraged me to leave and I listened, and so I left after just one night.

no one to assist

My biggest problem is I have a father who hardly cares about me. My mother's hands are full with her two other children; one attending high school and the other in primary school. I have tried sending out résumés, but there have been no responses. I am just so tired of going to bed hungry. I don't know where or how I will get what I need.

I even started to go back to church. But on most occasions, I don't know where my lunch is coming from or the bus fare to get back home, so I have stopped going to church again. I have started drinking. I have tried smoking a few times too. I am now thinking of getting one of those massage parlour jobs again.

I really need your advice. I look forward to your favourable response. Keep up the good work.

N.S., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear N.S.,

You do not have a skill and you do not have a good education. Therefore, it is going to be very difficult for you to get a job. I have not divulged the name of the organisation for which you worked. Too bad you had to leave there.

You are evidently not a lazy person. You have tried. You have ambition. I will do my best to help you. You will be hearing from me.

Try and go back to church and if you don't have any bus fare when you go, ask the minister or his wife to give you. Always put God first.

I will make you a solemn promise. I will do my best to help you.

Pastor