Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column from I was going to high school. Now that I married, my husband and I make sure we buy THE STAR, just to read what you have to say.

I have a confession to make. I do not know how you will look at it but I really need your advice. When I was 19, I got pregnant for a man who was married. He was a public figure and we used to have sex often. He was a good friend of my father. When I realised I was pregnant and told him, he asked me if I would do an abortion and I agreed.

abortion

He gave me $10,000 to do the abortion and $10,000 to buy myself some things I needed. Nobody in my family knew I was pregnant. To this very day, not even my sister, who is very close to me, knew what happened.

I am now 25 and my husband is trying to get me pregnant but nothing is happening. I do not know what to do. We have had sex in different positions and have tried everything we read in magazines on what to do to get pregnant, but, as I said, nothing is happening.

We have been married for two years. I have not told my husband I had an abortion, but I am wondering if it is because of the abortion why I am not getting pregnant. Is this my punishment?

My husband has a son but he wants us to have a child together. Do you believe something went wrong when I had the abortion that is preventing me from getting pregnant? Should I tell my husband about it?

I.S., St. Catherine, Jamaica

Dear I.S.,

You are wondering whether you should have told your husband you did an abortion before you got married. How would telling him now help the relationship? It may cause him not to believe anything you say. In other words, he may never trust you again. It is a big risk you will take if you were to tell him. Not all men can take the truth when it is told.

Your husband may look at you as a deceiver. He may not trust you again. On the other hand, he may say he is happy you told him and everything will be all right.

It is a risk. Your husband may remind you what you did when he is upset about some matters, and may very well use it against you all the time. However, I cannot say you should, or should not tell him. It is totally up to you.

Pastor