Jealousy is a sickness and I believe that oftentimes people get jealous for no reason at all. Because my first love cheated on me, I tend not to trust men. However, I'm working on changing that.

In my previous relationship, I would always accuse my boyfriend, in a jovial manner, of having someone else and always searched his phone, which he started to keep locked with a password. In the end, I learned not to search for things that are not always there; in my case, however, it was always there.

very insecure

I have a lovely aunt and her boyfriend is very insecure. If she goes to the gate or the shop, etc, he accuses her of having an affair, which is bizarre, and they would always end up fighting.

When jealousy takes over, I think the best thing to do is talk about it and come to a resolution to stop it or just move on with your lives, especially if the relationship is not a healthy one because of physical or mental abuse. One should learn to depend on oneself and the Lord to get the strength they need to leave an unhealthy relationship.

J., Toronto

Dear J.,

A good relationship is based on trust. And, when a man does not trust his woman, the relationship will not work. When a woman does not trust her man that relationship is in deep trouble, also. One can always say that one is jealous therefore one has to search the other's phone or personal belongings. But the truth is, it is lack of trust.

If a woman comes to realise that her man does not trust her, she should try to get him to agree for both to get professional help. If after going for counselling the relationship has not improved, both should go their separate ways. There is always a danger that a man or woman who says he or she is jealous may harm the other. One should never live in bondage. Whether a man or woman is married he or she should not feel that his or her life is restricted.

Pastor