Dear Pastor,

I am a 29-year-old male and I read your column every week. You are the reason why I buy The Star. Some people say that you are feisty, others say that you are blunt but most people love you because you talk the truth. I have a girlfriend. She is five years older than me. She is the first woman I can say that I really love. I am not employed, so I cannot give her much. Sometimes for months I can't even buy her a patty. She pays all the bills in the house. The house is hers. Sometimes I feel cute because my father always says that a man should provide for his woman and not the other way around. But she doesn't complain.

When I met her I was working but the company closed and I went to live with her because I could not pay my rent and she did not want me to go back to the country to live. I have an appointment with the Embassy. I believe that I am going to get through to go away. I want to marry this woman before I leave, but I was told that I should not. I don't want to lose her. For the three years we have been together, we have never quarrelled. Another thing my father told me is that I shouldn't marry an older woman so I cannot tell him my girlfriend's age.

She told me that she will wait on me. I don't know, pastor. The way things are now, women change like lizard. I am hoping that she will not change.

L.I.

Dear L.I.,

What a fortunate man you are! I hope that you will treat this woman with respect and hold her in high esteem. She knows you are not working, therefore, she does not complain or put you under pressure for anything. She pays all the bills without complaining. Very few women would operate like that these days.

Some women tolerate men only for a few months, then demand money from them. And when some unemployed men live with women, the women are often disrespectful to them. Some curse them and eventually throw them out.

There is no reason why you should believe that this woman would not be faithful to you after you have gone abroad. What you should do is to make sure that you keep your commitment to return to Jamaica and marry her.

This woman's age should not be a concern to you. In fact, if you had questions about that, you should not have moved in with her. So, be a man and keep your word. After you have settled in America, return to Jamaica and marry her.

Pastor