Dear Pastor,

I am a student attending a well-known university and I am having a problem. I was doing well in my studies but I got involved with another student. When I met him, I was a virgin but I am no longer a virgin. I gave my heart to him. I believe he was sincere and that our relationship would blossom into marriage. Now I am so disappointed in him. It started when we used to study together and one thing led to another.

When I told him I was a virgin he said he did not believe me and that he would have to prove it for himself and I foolishly had sex with him. Then we started to do it often. I noticed that he wasn't calling me as often as before. Then another student told me that he has another girlfriend. I asked him about it and he told me it is true, but I should not allow that to bother me because this girl cannot step into my shoes.

pregnant

To cut a long story short Pastor, this girl is now pregnant by him. And I told him that he has to make up his mind which one of us he wants. And he told me he does not want to lose any of us. This thing is giving me sleepless nights because I love him so much. I don't know what to do, sometimes when I am trying to study, everything comes up before me and I have to cry. Pastor, I think I know what to do but as a father, I am asking you for your advice.

T. B.

St Andrew

Dear T.B.,

You are wasting your time with this young man. He is nothing but a player. He was able to convince you to have sex with him and he promised to stay with you. But having sex with you was not enough for him. He had to go to another girl and please don't be surprised if you were to hear he is having sexual relationships with other women apart from the one pregnant by him. He has got what he wants from you.

move on

You did not mean to make yourself cheap. Consider what has happened as a big mistake and move on. It is going to be tough to put him behind you because you are going to always remember that he took your virginity. Yes, he was the first man in your life but remember that other women have faced similar situations and have overcome, so try your very best to concentrate on your education. You did not enter university to play around; you went there to get an education. You made a detour, now get back on track. Cut this guy off. Don't even go near to him. Don't call him and if he calls, don't respond. I will be thinking of you. Please write again.

Pastor