Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for quite sometime now and I love it. You see, I have a big problem. I am 28 and I am living with a 48-year-old man. The problem is that his family doesn't like me. He already has 17 kids and I don't have any children as yet. He was in a relationship with his daughter's mother for 15 years before they separated. His daughter is 15 but her mother doesn't like the fact that I am with her child's father. She tries every way to get him back but he keeps saying that he doesn't want to go back to her. She keeps making our life unhappy.

curse me

I really love this man, but sometimes I feel like I am holding myself back in life by being with him. His family doesn't like me. They say a lot of bad things about me, even when I try to help this man. His daughter and I got into a fight the other day until I had to call the police. Her mother came to the house and started to curse me. He stood right there and didn't even say anything about it. A few weeks after, his nephew and I got into a fight. The same thing happened. I called the police on him.

The man who I am living with also has a drinking problem. Every time he drinks, he wants to fight me. He cannot control himself whenever he drinks. I am madly in love with this man but at the same time I am very unhappy. Please, I really don't know what to do anymore. I really need your help.

K.

Dear K.,

What are you doing in this family? Don't you see that you are not loved by his family members? Why have you lowered your standard by getting into fights with his daughter and nephew? Shame, shame. And this man is beating you like a drum. I ask again, what are you doing there?

You are talking nonsense about loving this man. How can you love a drunkard and one who does not respect you? Perhaps you are there because this man gives you shelter and food. You need to provide for yourself and get out of this man's house. And talking about this man, he is so irresponsible. How can he adequately support 17 children? You don't have any pride and I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he has impregnated you. Perhaps that is what you are hoping would happen.

Pastor