Dear Counsellor

I had sex without a condom with my mother's boyfriend. He lives with me, my mother, and my older sister. He is 25; my mother is 52. He told me ever since my mother introduced us, he saw what he always wanted. He said he is crazy for me and is in love with me.

Counsellor, from the day I met him, he has been pressuring me for sex. I finally gave in when I could no longer take the pressure. He said if I didn't have sex with him, he would tell my mother that I was coming on to him. Counsellor, I knew my mother would put me out of the house.

I am very confused because I am not sure I want to continue having sex with him, but I am also deeply in love with him. After all, I truly believe he is right for me because I am 22. He is much too young for mom, and if it is not me, it is going to be some other girl.

However, I am now infected with gonorrhoea. Is gonorrhoea dangerous? I cannot tell my mother because I overheard her talking strongly with her boyfriend about the same thing, and he promised her it wouldn't happen again. I don't have money to purchase the medication. What if I'm not treated?

Cheating Daughter

Dear Cheating Daughter:

I am sorry to hear that your mother's boyfriend pressured you into having sex and has now infected you with gonorrhoea. Yes, gonorrhoea is a dangerous sexually transmitted infection. Untreated gonorrhoea can cause serious and permanent problems. Gonorrhoea can spread into your womb and fallopian tubes causing an infection known as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID can make a woman sterile (unable to have children). Any damage that happens before you are treated will last the rest of your life.

Early treatment is very important. You should visit the nearest health centre to you and let the health-care provider know of your inability to afford treatment. You must also ask to speak with a counsellor at the clinic. The counsellor will help you to deal with the many issues in your letter. You will definitely need the help of a counsellor to guide you through this. You must be made aware of the many problems this could cause between you and your mother when she finds out, therefore, you must be prepared to deal with it.

For more information on condom use, HIV/AIDS, and other sexually transmitted infections, call the AIDS/STD Helpline at 967-3830, 967-3764, or toll free at 1888-991-4444.