Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and I have a really burning issue which is quite depressing. I got through to study to become a doctor of dentistry. I want to be a maxilla facial surgeon. My so-called aunty and grandma keep telling my mother, who is a single parent and kind of hot-headed lady, that I don't want any good for myself and that I am a 'cruff'.

Her dislike for me all started when I was young, but I looked beyond that. When I was studying for CXC and CAPE, my aunt would come around and start major arguments with me just to throw off my study schedule, but that didn't throw me off one bit because I wanted to achieve greatness in my life.

But now they have turned my mom against me, who was the one person I had while growing up. They constantly tell her that I am no good, my career choice is foolishness and I should go and seek a job because I won't amount to anything. Each time they do this she attacks me verbally and at nights I over hear them (aunty and grandma) laughing and chatting about their handiwork. What puzzles me most is that on Sundays you can't find anyone as holy as them. I have no idea why they keep saying these things or have this hatred towards me.

Despite all this, I applied for a student loan without their permission as they wouldn't give me, even though I asked. Now I can't get a guarantor because the persons I used on the form are close to them and I know they will not help.

Why are they doing this to me? Do I really deserve all of this? Am I really destined to be a nobody? Most times I just feel like giving up. What should I do? All I want is just a little help.

I am awaiting your speedy response.

A.A., St. Andrew

Dear A.A.,

Perhaps it is too late to apply for a scholarship. However, I suggest that you discuss your problems with the pastor of your church. He/she might be able to find two guarantors for you. Perhaps he/she might even volunteer to be one. It is unfortunate that you haven't thought to discuss your objective with professionals or career counsellors who would have given you some guidance.

It might not be possible to get into school for this coming school year. Perhaps what you should plan to do is to seek a job and work for a year, and during the year make all the necessary arrangements to go to school the following year.

I don't want you to become discouraged. Your grandparents evidently do not put a great premium on education, and it is easy for your mother to believe what they say about you. Don't overreact, just keep your goals and objectives before you and you will succeed.

Pastor