Home - The Star
November 20, 2012
Star Features


Did someone say FOREPLAY?

The dictionary defines FOREPLAY as "sexual stimulation preceding intercourse", and this topic has been a source of debate between men and women for decades. When it comes to foreplay, men are frustrated with women who seem to want it to go on forever, and women are annoyed with men who seem not to be interested in participating at all. The truth is foreplay is an important part of the love dance for several reasons: it increases the level of intimacy in the relationship, it gets the participants warmed up for intercourse plus it just feels real good.

Many persons will say that foreplay starts with a touch or kiss, the truth is that it starts long before you even touch each other. It can start with a look, a smell, hearing the sound of your lover's voice, or even just thinking about him/her. This is why chemistry is so important because it makes every look, touch and kiss that much more intense and pleasurable. The magnetic pull that you feel towards someone you are attracted to is very powerful and really makes the sex that much more delightful.

Erogenous Zones

There is no way I can talk about foreplay without highlighting the very important erogenous zones - area on the body that has increased sensitivity and cause sexual arousal or gratification when stimulated. These areas may vary from person to person, but there are some popular ones: neck, nipples, ears, lower abdomen, pubic area, inner thighs, behind the knees and feet. It is important to note that all these body parts may have different levels of sensitivity for different individuals and you can be very creative with the stimuli - fingers, tongue, hair, teeth, etc.

Before I move on, it is important to mention a very important and most sensitive erogenous zone on a female - the clitoris. This is the only organ on the human body that is designed just for her sexual pleasure. If you want to be very accomplished in arousing a woman, get to know the clitoris. The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings that when stimulated, can cause a woman to reach orgasm.

The perception is that foreplay is a woman thing. However, the fact is, real men not only enjoy foreplay, they enjoy when their women are satisfied so they insist on it. Some will argue that foreplay is a waste of time because it's the intercourse that they really enjoy. While this may be so, it is important to get your body aroused and ready for the action because, that will be more sexy fun for you and your partner.


Dear Shelly,

I read the book 50 Shades of Grey and I am very curious about bondage but I am afraid of being tied up. Can you give me some pointers?

Latoya, Duhaney Park

Dear Latoya,

I addressed this topic in my article "Bondage 101" dated Oct 30, 2013. The first and most important step is to discuss with your partner what your desires are and be honest.

Start with a scarf and maybe a blindfold, as a beginner to bondage I do not recommend that you go straight to using cuffs. Create a safe word that can be used if the subdued person is no longer having fun. Remember to respect each other's boundaries and most important, have fun with it.

Enjoy, Shelly


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