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November 21, 2012
Star Tell Me Pastor


He is afraid to open up to me

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column but I never knew that one day I would be seeking your advice. I am a 20-year-old female who is involved with a 30-year-old guy. We have been seeing each other for about eight months now. I really do like him, but I just don't know if he is interested in me the way I do.

He has got his heart broken, and for some reason, he has been carrying that scar for quite some time now. He is afraid to open up to me because he thinks I might betray him. I am so confused and I don't know what to do because I don't know if he would ever love again. I don't want to fall in the trap of loving him and he doesn't love me.

Please tell me what to do.

Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,

Don't allow what this man says to you about his broken heart to get you down or to cause you to wonder if he will ever love again. Men use that as a ploy to confuse women or to get them to believe that they are sincere, but deep down they know what they want to do. You ought not to beg a man to stay with you. If he loves you, he should show love or leave you alone. And you should tell him so.

Another woman has disappointed him, but he should not use that to judge you. Too many of you girls allow these men to fool you and to give the impression that they don't have a role to play in strengthening and keeping a relationship. The women are always getting the blame. Such attitude is wrong. And it is time for women to say, "love me or leave me."


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