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November 29, 2012
Star Tell Me Pastor


I want to experience an orgasm

Dear Pastor,

I am a 23-year-old female who has been married for six months. I have a big problem when it comes to sex. My husband and I enjoy having sex but I don't experience orgasms. I always want more and I even feel hornier after we are finished.

My husband and I started having sex a few months before we got married. He is my first partner and he only had one girlfriend before me. It was really painful when I just started and I had to get some help from the doctor to get things going. It really frustrates me and sex is becoming a chore because I know I am not going to be satisfied when I am done.

I really love my husband and I really like sex, but I am just not getting what I am to get out of it and it bothers me. He thinks I am thinking about it too much and he is doing all the right things. Sometimes I have to masturbate to get a release. Please help us, pastor.


Dear ...,

The news is not all bad. If you had said that you do not like sex, it would be bad news, indeed. But if you like it as you have said, there is great hope that you would indeed learn to experience orgasm through sexual intercourse. Perhaps your husband has not learnt the techniques that are involved in bringing you to orgasm. Perhaps both of you are not spending enough time in foreplay.

I would suggest that you purchase books on the art of lovemaking and learn the techniques of foreplay, etc. In the meantime, don't condemn yourself for trying to satisfy yourself by masturbating. The time will come when you might not need to masturbate because your sexual needs would have been met through coitus. You may also consider making an appointment to see a sex therapist.


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