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December 31, 2012
Star Tell Me Pastor


So dotty over the higgler

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem and I need your help. When I was a young man, my father told me that I should not get married until I have a place to put a woman. He said only foolish men put their privates into women and don't have anywhere to put them. Because when a man goes that far, anything can happen. The woman can get pregnant. My father used to always say that some men have children but they were not ready. And it is easy to have a child. All the man has to do is to discharge and that can cause him to become a father.

My father gave me a piece of land and he helped me to build a house because he was a carpenter. By the time the house was finished, I had two women pregnant and I loved both of them. One was a higgler and the other was going to teachers' college. I love the higgler more than the one who was in teachers' college, but she was older than I and had three children. When I told my father that both women were pregnant for me and I did not know which one to marry and move in the house, he told me that if I move the higgler into the house, I shouldn't let anybody know that I am his son. He said that he was not against the lady because she was a higgler, but as a trying man I shouldn't take up a woman with three children.

power to kill me

Pastor, when I tried to pull away from this woman, she told me that I didn't know who I was playing with, and she had the power to kill me. When the baby was born, it didn't look anything like me. I am a black man and the mother is not as black as me. But the baby is very brown. My father told me that the child could still be mine because there are brown people in my family. But as the child grew older, he didn't resemble anyone in my family. So, I cursed the mother and told her that I wanted back every cent I gave to her to buy baby clothes.

I got married to the teacher who is a Christian. We loved each other. But these days I find myself getting involved again with this other woman who is a higgler. She would not leave me alone. She admitted that the child is not mine, but I shouldn't let anybody know that she told me so. She said that it was the truck driver, who takes her to market, who is the father of the child. Every time she needs money she asks me to help her. One night I went there and the children were not asleep, she came outside and she was all over me. I didn't even have the time to put on the condom. We had sex right at the back of the house on a stool.

Pastor, I love my wife but I am fretting. This woman may get pregnant again and call my name. I have two lovely children with my wife and they love me. Sometimes I give this woman money just to keep her quiet as she is very vulgar; she is not afraid to call the name of the men who give her money and have sex with her. She may even say something and my wife might hear.


Dear S.T.,

There is a famous calypso which is on the naughty side. And the calypsonian says what the woman gave the man to rub he ate. And evidently that aptly describes this woman and you. What she gave you has turned you into a fool. You have become so dotty that you can't even think right. And whenever she says jump, you jump although she threatened you years ago. Whenever she needs money she sends to you. And she knows that all she needs to do is to offer you some sex.

This woman is like the woman Solomon describes in Proverbs 7, who is loud and subtle of heart and is stubborn and impudent and is always out to catch her prey.

You know that she will do anything to break up your marriage. Why then do you continue to play around her. You have a lovely wife. Stick with her. If you don't, you are likely to catch STIs and pass on to your lovely wife. So, make a resolution as you come to the end of the year to keep away from this woman and do your best to strengthen your marriage.


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