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January 2, 2013
Star Tell Me Pastor


My husband is jobless

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem with my in-laws and these problems are driving me crazy. And if my husband does not stand up as a man, I am going to leave him and go back to the States. I am an American woman and I met my husband in New York. We got married and we have two children. My husband lost his job and did not work for over a year. I was working but my husband's relatives told him that with his qualifications, he would get a job in Jamaica. I told him that I did not want him to leave so we could continue to live in America while he continues to seek a job. He became very frustrated.

And, one day, he told me that he made up his mind to return to Jamaica. I told him that wherever he goes I will go.

I did not know at the time that his relatives did not want me to come with him. We packed up and came to Jamaica. I put some of our things in storage. We have been living on my savings which is almost depleted. His relatives think that I have money. And whenever I shop and buy stuff for my children, they eat it. I tried to talk to my husband, but he is afraid of them. If I have an argument with my husband, my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law get involved. I am a Christian and I made a vow to my husband that I will be faithful to him, but I cannot stay in this condition. Sometimes my husband leaves in the mornings and does not come home until late at nights and tells me that he is looking a job. Do you think that I should go back to America? Please try to understand my situation and give me your advice.


Dear N.R.,

I believe with all my heart that you love your husband and you would rather be with him than to be alone in America. However, circumstances here in Jamaica are not pleasant. Your husband is still unemployed and living in the home of his mother and other relatives. His people did not want you to come to Jamaica because they knew that you would not be very comfortable. You thought that you would tough it out, and you have tried. But, this is too big an adjustment for you to make and you cannot continue to live under such unpleasant conditions or in such an environment.

Therefore, my dear, I am suggesting that you tell your husband that you have made up your mind to return to America. You have some of your belongings in storage, set up your house again in America. Comfort your heart with the thought that you have tried to make things work. While you are in America, look around to see if anyone would offer your husband a job. And if you succeed, let him know immediately.

You see, my dear, this man's people are using the things that you bought for your children. And to them nothing is wrong if they do that because you are living in their home and everyone should be living as a family. You can't deal with that, so please leave them and go back to your home where you can be queen of your house.


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