Home - The Star
January 3, 2013
Star Features


New Year mix-up

Happyyyyyyyyyyy Neeeeeeeeeeewww Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!! To all a unu generation of Mix-Up vipers!!!! LOL!! If yuh a read dis den yuh need fi give tanx say yuh live fi see di New Year. Fi real. Cause nuff people neva mek it yow.

Soh, big big New Year greetings to all a mi Tambareen Fambily linky-linky an di whole a mi mix-up massive. A jus straight genuine blessings mi say. As long as yuh naa walk roun an a wish bad fi people, as long as yuh naa envy an bad mind people fi dem goodniss, as long as yuh naa harm people an a perpetrate cruelty pon di innocent - den hol a propa bless-up inna unu nastinisses!! Dwl!! Brap! Brap!

Well, di year jus staat an already di mix-up dem staat rinse too. Mi say it look like a did God plan fi mi come live up ya inna Obama Lan, cause it look like bigga place equal bigga mix-ups. Dem jus a rinse dem soh up ya. Soh pree da one ya:

New Year Mix-Up

Dis man an dis woman deh long time fi many years now but dem jus get married inna 2012. Di woman job have har pon di road regularly, and di man do a lot a driving fi him job too. Because dem jus get married inna 2012 dem decide say dem cyaan mek dem work goh keep dem apart pon dem fus new year as married people, so dem did a try dem bes fi ring een di 2013 togeda.

Howeva, all di try dem a try it look like it neva did a goh happen. Inna di end, di wife did haffi deh a one company party inna a different state fram weh dem live. Soh she tell har husband say him fi jus come a di company New Year's party wid har an di two a dem woulda jus ring een di new year dung deh inna di oda state. Inna di end di husband say by him fi done work him naa goh able fi reach di oda state in time.

However, in truth, di husband did know say him coulda finish in time an able fi reach di oda state fi ring een di New Year wid him wife. Him jus did waan surprise har an mek har happy fi see him - and present har wid a brand new car weh him buy fi har! Yeah, him did plan fi gi har good-good car fi har new year.

Soh cut long story short ya now, on New Year's Eve, di husband shot it goh dung a him wife company party inna di oda state. Wen him reach, smaddy who work fi di company who know him see him an tell di security who he was an dat di security mus let him een cause him come fi celebrate wid him wife. Wen him goh een him couldn't find him wife. People a help him look fi har an couldn't find har, until a man point pon a side door an say she did goh outside wid anneda male employee. Di man call di male employee name weh him wife gaan outside wid an same time di husband recognize a who. It was di husban a one a him wife really, really good friends. Doan get confused now - falla mi carefully - di husban weh mek di trip to fi him wife did meet di oda husban wen di oda husban wife did sick bad, an it was di husban weh mek di trip wife who did a care fi har di whole time. Di husban weh mek di trip wife did all a care fi har good fren pickney dem wen she did sick.

Soh, back to di party. Di husban weh mek di trip goh through di side door an staat look fi him wife SUV. Him look good an see say it did park waaaaaaayyyyyyy ova inna one corna. Immediately, him did a wonda why him wife park so far cause him know seh she always a tink bout safety an doan like park too far fram buildings.

Soh, anyways, him staat walk ova to di vehicle. Wen him almost reach him wife vehicle him notice it a shake likkle bit. An den him notice supm strange: di back window pon di vehicle neva did wind all di way up, an dere was a hand a come fram inside di vehicle an a hol di part weh di window woulda wind up. Di hand was a man hand. Di husban say him did tempted fi run to di vehicle same time but supm tell him say doan dweet. Di husban tek him time walk wide an screechie come up behind di vehicle, crawl up to it, an tek time raise him head an prips wa a gwaan. Wen him look, nuh him wife dat inna a happy New Year party hat wid di whole a di bredda instrument a full up har mout!! Di husban say him slide dung, ketch him breath, den slide up back an prips again. Same ting him see, him wife mout a shell dung di bredda tool wid a propa-propa swipe!!

Him say him nuh know why, but him jus tek time tek weh himself, goh back inna di car weh him did buy, an jus lef di party. Him say him did shock, but even though him nuh put up wid foolishniss, something did tell him say doan do nuttin crazy deh soh.

Wen him almost reach back a him state him see him wife a call an him neva ansa. Wen it was new year an she still a call him finally ansa. She say "Happy New Year my husband", an say how whole heap a people say him did de deh an she find it very strange say him lef. Him tell har say him did jus a stop briefly on him way to making an important delivery, an because him neva see har him did haffi leave. Him say him know dat was a fool-fool excuse an dat him wife know a lie him a tell, but dat she jus work wid it cause she nuh know weh him know.

Di wife a fahwud back a dem house on January 4. Him say him still naa goh say nuttin to har an jus a plan how best him a goh frig har ova an lef har wid nuttin!!

Mi tell him say him nuh fi do har nuttin physical. It nuh worth it inna di long run.

But di wife cold though. She a help har good fren an a tek har man at di same time. An broite enuff fi goh introduce har husban to di bunna man! - wen she de deh a mek di bunna man a drive him big truck up inna har driveway! Damn cayliss!!

Di husban park di new car a him fren an say him a goh bring it back to di dealer.

Of course me a goh stay pon da mix-up ya like silva ticks inna cow back. Naa let gooo!! Lol

Awright, me a cut ya now. Happy New Year again. See unu Tuesday, same place ya soh. Bless.

Bookmark and Share
Home | Gleaner Blogs | Gleaner Online | Go-Jamaica | Go-Local | Feedback | Disclaimer | Advertisement | Privacy Policy | Contact Us