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January 9, 2013
Star Tell Me Pastor


Intrusive ex-girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I have a burning issue that has to do with my boyfriend's most recent ex-girlfriend. They broke up recently. My boyfriend called it off because their relationship had become toxic. To expound on this toxic relationship, from his perspective, she didn't take the break-up well. She would visit him uninvited and be overly dramatic. However, he still maintained a friendship with her.

This is where the burning issue comes together. Since I have been with him, I see her sending text messages to him, telling him how much she loves him. She does this although he knows that he has a girlfriend. She keeps on hinting she wants to see him and does this by calling and texting.

ignoring her

I spoke to him about it and told him he shouldn't take her lightly, so he should let her know I am in the picture. I asked him if he told her, and he said no. He said he is just ignoring her.

Her constant texting creeps me out because I know how vindictive women are. It is not the texting that bothers me, but texts that imply that she is seeing him. There are times when I wish I could give her newspaper clippings or send her emails talking about getting over a broken heart. I also believe that my boyfriend shouldn't have any form of contact with her.

However, I don't want to come off as being controlling. I believe they are honestly still contacting each other. I am not insecure but her behaviour is very intrusive. The other day she said she loves him so much and prays to God that he says he is sorry.

I don't want to come off as jealous but I hope you understand where I am coming from and how best should I deal with this situation. What advice do you have for girls in this situation?


Dear P.J.,

This young lady believes there is still a possibility that the young man might dump you and come back to her. He has not told her not to call him. He is rather cordial to her. Therefore, she believes it is only a matter of time before he comes back to her. He tells you he is ignoring her, but you know that is not the truth. So, stop blaming the girl.

Your so-called boyfriend has not fully severed ties with her. Until he does, she will continue to show interest in him. She should not be blamed for doing so. After all, she is still in love with him.


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