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January 10, 2013
Star Tell Me Pastor


I feel hated

Dear Pastor,

I am a smart, intelligent and sexy 17-year-old girl. I live with my mom, dad, my four brothers and my two sisters. Ever since I was born, I believe that I don't belong in this world. I say that because my father doesn't care about me, my mother hates me and my eldest brother who is 19 years old keeps on teasing and bothering me. He said that I am ugly. He called me names and he even claimed that I have HIV/AIDS and that I had an abortion.

Pastor, I am a virgin. I am sure of that and when my brother says things like that about me, all I can do is to hide my pain inside, then cry about it later. I felt like running away and sometimes I even tried to kill myself but I couldn't. I don't think it is worth it. I can't give up my life because of what I am going through.

Please, pastor, I don't have any happiness in my life. The only time someone is proud of me is when I get an award. Please tell me what to do.

Unhappy Teenager

Dear Unhappy Teenager,

There are times when it is necessary for every member in a household to have a family conference. However, not all parents are willing to listen to their younger children. They believe that they have no right to ask for such a meeting or to complain. And instead of listening to their complaints, they shout at them and call them rude and disobedient. Some even tell them to shut up.

You claim that your parents don't care much about you and that your brother curses you constantly and tells lies on you. So, how could you get them to listen to you? You did not say why you believe that your mother hates you. Why would she hate you? Sometimes a child may feel that her mother hates her because she does not allow her to do the things that she wants to do. Sometimes the child may be speaking the truth. Her assessment of the situation is correct. But sometimes it is wrong.

You are 17 years old. You have kept yourself well. Continue to do well in school. It is going to be tough for you. But totally ignore your brother. He is making himself a fool. You know that he is not speaking the truth. Don't go toe-to-toe with him in any argument. The day will come when he will ask you for forgiveness. Hold your head up high.

Now let me go back to your parents. Bite your lips when unkind things are said about you or when you do not like their attitudes towards you. But don't try to prove to your parents that you know that they hate you. Be obedient and live uprightly, so to speak. They may not tell you to your face that they appreciate you and love you, but they will boast about you to their friends and relatives. That is how some parents behave.


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