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January 25, 2013
Star Tell Me Pastor


Trial relationship

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular follower of your column and I must comment that you are doing a good job. My reason for this letter is to tell you about a young lady whom I dearly love. The problem is that she is a Christian but she is getting a divorce.

We have known each other for years, but we lost communication a long time ago and now we have found each other again. She expressed how she feels about me and I told her how I feel about her. But I just can't get past the thought that she is a Christian and I am not. We want to settle down but she is not willing to live with me first until we get married.

I don't have a problem waiting for her, but I just don't want to get married then things don't work out. If things go bad, what should I do?

A.B., St Ann

Dear A.B.,

What you want this woman to do is to shack up with you and have a kind of trial relationship and if you are satisfied with her, you would marry her. But you wouldn't plan any date. You wouldn't tell her how long both of you would be living together. And any day you are not satisfied with her, you would tell her to go.

This woman would be out of her mind to agree to live with you under such arrangements. She has had a bad marriage and is in the process of getting a divorce. Why should she expose herself to be used by another man? She has to also bear in mind that you are not a Christian, and the Bible discourages Christians from marrying non-Christian.

I cannot encourage this sort of relationship. And I hope this woman will seek to honour the Lord by putting Him first in her life and wait on him for a new partner.

In the meantime, I would pray that you would experience genuine conversion.


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