Home - The Star
February 1, 2013
Star Tell Me Pastor


Can't let him go

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the name of our Lord. I have been reading your column from I was a teenager and now I am in my mid- 20s, and I continue to read it. I am having a problem. I am pregnant. The pregnancy is six weeks old and it is for a married man. This man and I were friends before he got married. He took my virginity when I was 17. But I knew he had his girlfriend. It was the first time I was having sex and I didn't even think about this man having his girlfriend and living with her. We never stopped having sex. He helped me through college.

One day his girlfriend called me and said that she heard that we were friends. And I told her yes we are friends but not intimate. She and I became good friends, but every chance this man and I got we had sex. When I got my own apartment, he gave me the money to buy a bed and a stove. When he got married, he did not invite me but his girlfriend did and I went. At the church, I wept when I saw him take his vows. I put on a brave face because if I did not go, his wife would probably believe that he and I were lovers.

I had two other men in my life but none of them was like him. He is the most caring man I have ever known and I would give my life for him. The problem now is that I am pregnant by him. He told me to get rid of it but I don't want to because I may never get pregnant again. He told me that if I am keeping the pregnancy I should leave the district. I don't know how to handle this. His wife would never forgive me.


Dear E.T.,

You are a bold-face girl, but you are also a very silly girl. You got involved with a man who was involved with another woman. This man assisted you financially and helped you to go to school. News got around to his girlfriend that he was having an affair with you and you denied it. You convinced his girlfriend that what she heard was a lie.

Why did you continue to have sex with this man? You knew that he was not going to leave his girlfriend permanently and come to you. I repeat, you are a bold-face woman. Even his wedding you attended to fool his wife that nothing intimate was going on between this man and you.

How could you convince anybody that you didn't want to have a child by this man? He wants you to terminate the pregnancy but you do not want to. But at the same time, you are worried about what his wife might think about you.

I cannot encourage you to have an abortion. So, please have your baby. But do not cause any problem in this man's life because both of you have behaved foolishly and must stand the consequences of what you have done together.


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