Dear Pastor,

I am in a relationship with a man who is twice my age. I like him but, somehow, I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend. He is in Cayman now but has promised to come down and impregnate me.

I think I am ready for a child because both of us are working. My boyfriend recently fathered a child. When I asked him about it, he said the girl was telling a lie on him. I told him we would see because it is something coming, not going.

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up because I was cheating and he found out about it. Every time my ex-boyfriend calls me, my boyfriend finds out and beats me.

What should I do, because my ex-boyfriend comforts me and my boyfriend gives me everything I want. I am so confused. Please, tell me what is the best thing to do.

S.

Dear S.,

You are behaving as a child. A child should not become a mother because a baby is not a doll. Your boyfriend is living in Cayman and you say he is planning to come to impregnate you. So you are eager to have a baby by him because you believe a baby may cause your boyfriend to have more confidence in you. You are still very immature, so you are not ready for a child. Please bear in mind that it is very important for a man to give a woman the assistance she needs during pregnancy. If this man comes to Jamaica and gets you pregnant, he is likely to return to Cayman to work. He would not be able to assist you.

You have been fooling around another man. You call him your ex, but a careful look at your letter reveals he is not really your ex. He is very much in your life.

Why do you allow your boyfriend to beat you? You should report him to the police and have nothing to do with him. He is an abuser and is not going to stop abusing you. If you don't leave him, and were to get pregnant by him, he will continue to take liberty with you because he feels he has the right to beat you.

Pastor