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March 18, 2013
Star Tell Me Pastor


Impregnated by dad's friend

Dear Pastor,

Please accept greetings from a confused Jamaican girl. I am 21 and I have been living in America since I was 18. I came to live with my father and soon after I got here, one of his friends, who is many years older than I am got me pregnant. He did not rape me. I had sex with him of my own will.

My father was very angry when I told him who had got me pregnant. He threatened to hurt the guy, and for the nine months I was pregnant I never saw him. But when I was about to have the baby, my father saw me crying and asked me what was the matter, and I told him that I was about to have baby and I would like to see the father and he should forgive the both of us because both of us were at fault.

My father cursed some bad words and told me that I should call him and tell him to come. The man was scared, so I asked my father to talk to him while I was standing there, and he did. I had the baby and he has been supporting him, but to tell you the truth, pastor, I don't love him at all.

I am confused because when I left Jamaica, I made a promise to a guy. This guy in Jamaica took my virginity when I was 16 years old, and even the night before I flew out, I had sex with him and promised that when I started working, I would come back to Jamaica and marry him. He does not know that I have a child and I don't know whether I should tell him.

Sometimes he says that he hopes that I am behaving myself, and I tell him yes. He is still waiting to marry me. Pastor, please tell me what to do. I am depending on you for an answer.


Dear A.H.,

You have waited too long to tell your boyfriend in Jamaica that you got involved with a man in America and he impregnated you. You might have to explain the circumstances under which you got pregnant because you have withheld the news from him for too long. This man was your father's friend and in the same age group as your father. I could understand why your father was angry. He didn't expect his friend to impregnate his teenage daughter. It is likely that the guy in Jamaica will continue to love you and marry you, but the news is likely to be a big blow to him.

You cannot force yourself to love someone, so don't pretend to love the man who is the father of your child. Just make sure he supports his child and please try your best to get a good education. I wish you well.


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