Myths about female sexual desires

March 03, 2020

When it comes to sexuality, women are misunderstood. There are a lot of assumption and plain misunderstandings that exists about what women want and how they feel sexually. March 8 is International Women’s Day and in recognition of this day, I want to take a look at some of the myths that are believed about female sexual desires.

Myth #1

Women need to be emotionally attached to someone before they have sex


Fact: Women are capable of having a fully sexual encounter without having any other attachment with their sexual partner. One of the reasons that women don’t have more purely sexual encounters is because the consequences are harsher for them than their male counterparts.

Myth #2

Women are less sexual than men


Fact: Women have very high libidos and crave sex as much as men, but our society put limitations on how women are expected to act sexually. For example, a woman may want to have multiple sexual partners, but she will be viewed in a very negative way by society at large if she acts on it. Women are taught to suppress their sexual desire from a young age because it’s not considered ‘decent’ for a woman to act on their innate sexual desires.

Myth #3

Older women are not interest in sex


Fact: When a women becomes a certain age, she’s expected to lose interest in sex. As a matter of fact, there are so many people who believe that after 40, women are just supposed to ‘put down sex and go into her church’. According to a Harvard Health Report, not only are they more sexually confident, women in their 40s also experience more powerful orgasms and are more likely to be multi-orgasmic. This notion is not only false, it puts women in a position where they have challenges finding partners to fulfil their sexual desires at that age. According to Relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam, co-author of The New Joy of Sex, “There’s plenty of research that shows sex gets better for women as they get older. It’s one of the best-kept secrets of women’s lives.”

Myth #4

Orgasms make women fall in love


Fact: Oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, is released during orgasm, it’s not something that only happens to women. According to Barry Komisaruk, professor of psychology at Rutgers University, while orgasming does cause both men and women to release the so-called ‘love hormone’, oxytocin, there isn’t any evidence that the hormone actually makes anybody fall in love. Komisaruk says that, while more research need to be done, current findings suggest that orgasming has a similar effect on men and women.

Much of what we are taught about female sexuality comes with the bias of how women are expected to act and not about how they really are. Even in the 21st century, there are so many restrictions placed on how a women is supposed to express herself sexually, and chastity is still the default. The truth is, sex is an important part of life; and yes, even women crave it, enjoy it and more from it than, just procreating. Women are sexual beings, and the sooner we all accept that, the better it will for all of us.

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