Best friend trying to take my man

December 02, 2019
Sad woman
Sad woman

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 23 also. We have been friends for one year and six months. We attend the same congregation.

Both of us are in college, so we see each other every day. This guy asked me if I was ever pregnant and I told him no, but that is not true. When I was 18, I got pregnant, but I lost the baby. At that time, I was living in the country. Some people didn't even realise that I was pregnant. Soon after that, I changed my life by going to church often. I got baptised, then I started to attend college, and I met this guy.

I told my best friend that my boyfriend asked me if I ever got pregnant and I told him no. She is always telling me that my boyfriend is a nice guy. But I didn't take that as anything.

One day, my boyfriend asked me how come I did not tell him the truth and that he doesn't like liars. So I asked him what is the problem and he said that he heard that I was pregnant once and I lost the pregnancy. I knew right away that it was my friend who told him, because I had discussed it with her.


I did not know that she would tell him, because it was confidential. She said that it is my boyfriend who told her what we were talking about and when he said to her about having children, she told him what I had told her about myself that I got pregnant but lost the pregnancy.

I knew she liked him, but I did not know she would try to take him away from me.

My boyfriend is hardly calling me these days and whenever I see him in school, he is ignoring me; it is 'hi' and 'bye'.

Please tell me what to do. I am confused.


Dear E.D.,

You should not have lied to your boyfriend. You should have told him the truth.

On the other hand, why should he be having that type of conversation with your friend? Whatever both of you discuss should be between the two of you. I want to believe that your girlfriend is not only admiring your boyfriend, but she also wants him to be hers.

And although you take her as your friend, she is not a confidential person and she may tell him things that will cause him to leave you, because that is what is going to happen if it has not happened already. And I say if it has not happened already because the man is ignoring you in recent days.

I suggest, therefore, that whenever both of you meet, you tell him that you are sorry that you lied to him about you never been pregnant because you did not want him to believe that you are a careless girl. I also want you to go further. I want you to drop this girl as a friend. She cannot be trusted.

I also want you to know that getting pregnant does not mean that you are a bad girl. You have made a mistake. You can't undo what has already been done, but you can try your best not to repeat the mistake. I wish you well.

If this guy leaves you, you will find another man who would love you even more than this present one. So, if he wants to end the relationship with you, let him go his way.


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