My cousin was sleeping with my man

March 01, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I have a burning heart that has been broken and I want to know if you can help. I have a cousin who was my best friend for 18 years and I would do anything for her.

One day, she introduced me to a guy who she claimed to be her 'brother'. The guy and I were together for over six years and, while in our relationship, she was the one who I would go to with all my problems. That was a stupid mistake that I made. To cut a long story short, I got to find out that she was with the same guy behind my back from the day she introduced us. I confronted her and she denied it on many occasions, but she finally admitted it and blamed me for it.

Pastor, I have not got over it. I have moved on and I am single and, yes, I am a Christian now, but these days I have found myself resenting men. I have become so tough in my heart and I feel so broken, so I am earnestly praying about it and waiting on my breakthrough. I know that God is going to heal me and send me a great husband. So until then I am praying and trusting God. A side note to all the women out there, especially now. It is better to be single and living for Jesus than to be running up and down behind these boys, because men don't act like that, boys do.


Dear Heartbroken,

How did it take you six years to find out that your so-called best friend was having an intimate relationship with the same guy she introduced to you? She described him as her 'brother' but she did not really mean that he was her biological brother. She probably meant that they were very close, and indeed they were.

But you should know that it's not everything that happens with you and your man that you should discuss with your closest friend, especially with the person who introduced you to him. The question I'm asking myself, who really was the side girl?

Was it you or your so-called cousin? If your cousin was the side girl, she should push her head in an ants' nest. She knew all along that she was making a fool of you by giving the impression that this man was such a good man, and then finally admitting that she was having an intimate relationship with him. The guy did not mean you any good and she didn't mean you any good either.

What happened to you has driven you to church. You claim you have got over it but you have not done so totally, because you have a strong dislike for all men. You use the word 'resent'.

It is almost saying that you hate men, but at the same time, you are hoping that the Good Lord will give you a husband. I know you want to be careful and I would tell you continue to be careful and, as you serve God, let him lead you all the way. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. I agree with you, God is going to heal you, because that's what you need, spiritual healing. I urge you to read as often as possible Psalm 37.

I hope you will let me know how things are developing with you as you seek to serve the Lord. Forgive this man for his wickedness towards you. He and your cousin are deceivers. I am sure that what they have done to you will help you to be a much better person in the years ahead.


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