Tired of stealing sex on the side

April 07, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 51 years old and I have six children. My wife and I are separated but not divorced. I told my wife that it is better for us to be divorced but because of our church, we have remained separated.

I have tried to remain unattached to women, but there have been times when I have faltered. I do have a lady friend who comes by to take care of my needs. I like her. She is divorced and would like to get married again. My wife asked me if this woman and I are going to bed and I told her no, and she said she saw the both of us in her dream making love.

Pastor, my bishop told me it is better for me to divorce and to get married again, but if I am doing so I should not marry a woman who was married already. I think it would be unfair for me not to marry this woman who has been working with me for many years. My bishop says that if I marry this woman I will be committing adultery because her husband is still alive.

I really do not know what to do so that is why I am turning to you for advice. Should I remain separated and steal love on the side with this woman? Remember, according to bishop, I can't marry this woman because she is divorced and her divorced husband is still alive, because that will be adultery.


Dear T.A,

The bishop does not understand what you are feeling neither do many people within the church community who have never been divorced or have gone through separation with their spouses. You have explained that you have been burning with passion, and in reality, you have been living a lie.

You want a woman. You want to have sex. Your body is calling for sex so why not do what is right? Divorce your wife and remarry someone you genuinely love. Right now, it seems to me that this woman who has been coming to the house and taking care of your place is the person you should consider giving the ring. That is my opinion. You are a grown man so make your decision.


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