Cousin thinks my husband is a pervert

April 09, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am at a point where I don't know what to think. I am married and my husband is much older than I am, but I don't have any problem with his age. He is a very good and decent man.

There is no work he would not do just to ensure that his children, his parents and I are comfortable. We have been together for the past three years and I don't regret being his wife. If we argue he always finds a way for us to resolve our conflict before we go to bed. He is just the best and even when he is at work, he is never too busy to talk to me. I don't know what else a woman would want from a relationship.

I have some problems. Firstly, sometimes when I say things to him he doesn't believe me and I don't see the reason why. He would always say I should not give him any reason to distrust me. My second reason for writing to you is because he always thinks that I am going to leave him. But honestly Pastor, I have no intention of leaving him. He says it is because he is almost three times my age. I have tried to make him understand that not everyone is the same. I love him and I will never leave him. Then he asked me what if he can't keep up with me sexually, I told him that I would go to the doctor with him and get medication to help him start up again. Even if he is walking with a stick, he is still my husband.

I cannot name everything this man has done for me. He has been helping me from school days so I have no intention to go anywhere. I am staying with the man I love. He does not have money or a big house or car, so no one can possibly say that I am with him for his wealth. We will get these things in the future because we are always here for each other. Lastly, my cousin told my mother that he loves to play around little children and I am confused because my cousin is a mixed up person. She does not always speak the truth, especially when something does not suit her, but then again could she be speaking the truth? He doesn't even have to turn off the phone when he is speaking to people and I am around. I spoke to him about what my cousin said and he told me I am always hearing things and it is up to me to believe or not to believe. I have never suspected him of anything like that. I am not picking up for my husband or my cousin. I love my husband and I don't want to lose him and despite of his age, I can't see myself without him. What do you suggest I do? Please don't ignore my letter.

A.S.

Dear A.S.,

Let me begin by commending you for your loyalty and faithfulness to your husband. I have always said that some women who have married much older men do so because they love them and men need not be fearful that the women will leave them as they get older and weak and sometimes helpless. You declare that your husband does not have some of the things girls go for but he genuinely loves you and you can prove that. This man occasionally questions you about whether you are going to leave him, but that is natural because he sees women doing that to men all around him. I am glad that you reassured him that you have no such intention. You are disturbed because your cousin has accused him of playing around with young girls. You need to confront your cousin and put this matter to rest and your cousin should be able to tell you the names of these youn g girls. If she cannot you should totally ignore what she has said. Perhaps she is very jealous over you and her jealousy is getting the better of her. Right now a word of caution to your husband to be careful is good enough. Again, I highly congratulate you for the good care and love you give to your husband and my prayers are with you.

Pastor

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