Cheating on my girl with her best friend

April 13, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and I have two girlfriends. My bona fide girlfriend and I have been together since high school . We are from rural Jamaica. She came to Kingston and got a job.

She was staying with relatives. One day one of my uncles came to see my mother and he asked me if I would like to live in Kingston. I told him yes, but I didn't have anywhere to stay.

He told me that I could stay with him for three months. I was so glad. I called my girlfriend and told her that I was coming to Kingston. She was so happy. It was rough at his house because I had to sleep in the same room with two of his small children but I stayed there. My girlfriend rented a one-bedroom place so I moved in with her.

The property owners like us. They were living in America and they bought this place and fixed it up. We have our own room and bathroom but we share the kitchen.

My problem started when my girlfriend's best friend got to know me. Even when my girlfriend was at work she would come to the house and throw herself at me. For the first few weeks, I resisted her and I even told her that I was going to tell my girlfriend. She said she knew I would not. I got to really like her and even asked her where she learned how to wine even before we did anything. If the music is playing, this girl will hold on to me and just wine and that gives m an erection.

The landlord and his wife go to church on Saturday and my girlfriend works at a supermarket. So, when I am home alone, this girl always pops up. We got closer and closer until we were in bed. The first time we had sex we didn't use protection and I was scared because if I had got her pregnant I wouldn't know what to tell my girlfriend. Since then we have had sex many times but we always use the condom. I know I am in trouble because now I have two girlfriends. I can never think of leaving my bona fide girlfriend and everything in this house belongs to her. Sometimes I have to have sex twice a day because when my girlfriend comes home she wants me to love her and I'm sleeping with the other girl.

I told this girl she should try and get a boyfriend of her own and I told my girlfriend she should convince her friend to get a man. My girlfriend told me she would get a man whenever she was ready so I should leave her alone. I am just worried that my girlfriend will find out that this girl and I are having sex. Please tell me what to do.


Dear K.W.,

You have too much time on your hands. When your girlfriend is at work, you are at home making love with her best friend. You should find a job that will occupy your time on Saturdays.

You like these two women. Clearly, your girlfriend's friend is the aggressor. She does not want to have a man of her own. She wants to share you and you have encouraged her. But let it be known to you, it is just a matter of time before your girl finds out. I know two sisters who used to have sex with one man. But when they realised, all hell broke loose and they cut each other. Don't think that won't happen in your situation. What do you think your girlfriend would do to her best friend? She would tear her to pieces and you would have to take the blame because you have not been true and loyal. Yes,your girlfriend is naive but her naivety can be forgiven because she trusts you. You could have stopped this thing long ago if you had told her friend not to come back when your girlfriend was away. But you like to know that you are sleeping with the two of them. So I am warning you now to stop what you are doing before it is too late.


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